A low rumble of thunder made me glance at the sky. A wave of gray storm clouds inched closer as I said, “Let’s just get out of sight before it rains.”
We took shelter in a small,hollowed-out portion of the rock face hidden from the main path. Arowyn and Everett quickly explained their plan for placing the explosive, and the four of us sifted through various scenarios to work out backup plans for each. It felt good to be involved in the intricacies of a mission. And this was a fairly straightforward one—stride in, set the charmed fire quartz on fire, stride out. Done. There was always an element of danger, but the more we talked, the more at ease we all grew.
Later, Arowyn and Everett went to check on the horses and relieve themselves. Nox slid out several weapons from his belt to sharpen them against the stone. More thunder boomed throughthe air, and soon, the soft sound of rain became the backdrop to steel on stone.
I let my shadows rise to the surface, testing them carefully and feeling their normal, playful selves dance around my fingers. As they skated closer to the shadows of the little cave, muffled voices drifted to me on my magic.
“...wonder why Milo didn’t want to see his pretty explosives in action,” Arowyn was saying.
A beat passed. Then Everett’s voice reached me. “He did. He just didn’t want to come when she was here.”
A weight sank in my stomach. Did they meanme?
Arowyn scoffed. “He needs to get over it. She’s part of the team.”
“Arowyn, Silasjustdied. Have some pity.”
“I get that, but it’s not like it’s Devora’s fault.”
“He doesn’t see it that way,” Everett said quietly.
My skin grew cold. I reached up to clasp my throat as I swallowed hard.
“He thinks Scarven sent his men because of his twisted obsession with her. That none of this would’ve happened if she hadn’t been there.” Everett’s voice was tired and resigned.
Arowyn cursed. “That’s ridiculous. Scarven’s a ticking time bomb. He would’ve attacked eventually, no matter what.”
“I know. I tried to tell him that, but he’s fragile right now. He doesn’t?—”
Nox’s body hovered above me, and their words faded along with my shadows. His jaw flexed as he looked out the cave entrance. “Don’t listen to that, Devora,” he said.
I blinked rapidly, not even realizing tears had come to the surface until a couple spilled onto my cheek. I swiped them away with the back of my hand. “I’m not.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
I met his stare, those navy eyes piercing through every lie, every insecurity. I deflated under their weight. My headhit the stone wall behind me as I closed my eyes. “Do you think he’s right?” I whispered. “Is it all my fault?”
“Ofcoursenot. Milo is upset. He’s grieving and grappling for anything to make sense of the loss he’s feeling.”
“But he’s not wrong.” I played with the edges of my leathers, watching my shadows simmer on my skin. “Scarven had never attacked you before. He still trusted you. He didn’t even know about the Keep beforeIblew your cover.”
My mind ran through all the ways I’d put them in danger over the past weeks. If I hadn’t tried to play thespy, if I hadn’t rushed into being the hero at the Hollow, if I hadn’t given away the fact that I was working with Nox, the Keep would still be safe. Nox’s advantageous position at Scarven’s side would still be intact.
Silas would still be alive.
Nox dropped to the dirty alcove floor. The sight of his massive frame contorting itself into this small space would’ve garnered a laugh from me under most circumstances. He wedged his arm behind my head so I could rest it on his shoulder.
“There’s only room for one of us with a paranoid guilt complex in this relationship,” he said as he twisted a strand of my hair around his finger.
I couldn’t help the snort that left me. “Bold of you to assume this is a relationship.”
His fingers stopped. They moved to the back of my neck, gripping tight enough to send a shiver down my spine.
“Bold of you to assume I’d ever let you go.” Slowly, he angled my head up to look at him, the silver of his dragon shining through his fierce eyes.
“I don’t want you to spend another moment thinkinganyof this is your fault.” He kissed the top of my cheek, and my eyes fluttered shut. “I want you to think about how powerful you are.” His lips moved to my jaw. “How selfless. How beautiful and strong andbrave.” He pressed one last kiss to the side of my throat.
“I want you to think about how much we need you. How muchIneed you.”
