I was already shaking my head before he finished. “No, don’t do that. You can’t keep trying to sit me out while the rest of you face the hardships. I want to help.Ineedto help.” My voice rose, becoming more desperate. I looked down at my hands and, for the first time since I’d found them, hoped my shadows stayed hidden.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me. I need to do something. Something to—to—” I cut myself off and balled my hands, tears springing to my eyes.
Nox rushed forward and took me in his arms. “We’ll find a way to stop whatever this is.” His lips pressed into the top of my head. “It’ll be alright, darling.”
I pushed away from him and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “How can it be? Silas isgone. Our people are in danger, and Scarven can break in at any moment.Nothingis alright.”
He stared back at me, and I saw him clearly for the first time. He looked sotired. So empty. I’d been selfish, so focused on my magic and what I’d done, I missed how difficult this was for him. How his own grief was crushing him.
I cupped his cheek, brushing my thumb beneath hiseye as more tears welled to the surface of mine. “Fates, I’m so, so sorry, Nox,” I whispered. “I know what he meant to you. What theyallmean to you.”
He took a shuddering breath, and his shoulders fell as his head dipped. I pulled him against me and wrapped my arms around his neck. His body felt so large next to mine, but his muscles relaxed as he sank further into me.Hewas always the one to comfortme. To be my rock when the world became too much to bear. I wanted to be that for him too.
“It’s not your fault,” I murmured, running my fingers through his hair. After our conversation before the wedding, I knew where his mind would go. He and I were like that, in a way. Always wearing the blame. Always letting the guilt seep in and corrupt us. “There’s no way you could have known.”
“I should’vestayed.” His voice rumbled through me as his forehead pressed into my neck. “I should’ve been here. We were offdancingwhile my people were being?—”
“You can’t think about it like that,” I rushed out. “You don’t know if us being here would’ve made a difference. The important part is that we got here when we did.”
His hair tickled my cheek when he shook his head. “He must’ve known I was gone. Why else would he attack now?” He backed away, his features hardening. “This was another game to him. Another move on the chess board. I’m tired of constantly losing pieces while he always has the upper hand.”
“I know, Nox. I know. I’m so sorry,” I said again, wishing there was something I could do. He’d been through this same cycle over and over again for longer than I could comprehend. Scarven seemed to be multiple steps ahead at every move. I wished there was a way to?—
My lips parted as my hand fell away. I let out a curse. I couldn’tbelieveI’d forgotten about this.
“What is it?” Nox asked.
Another string of curses left my lips as I darted out of the bathing chamber.
“Devora, what?—”
“I know what to do.” I fell to my knees before my pile of dirty clothes.
“Would you care to explain?”
I yanked at discarded garments. One by one, I threw them to the side, ignoring his anxious pacing and questions. When I finally found the dirty, ragged pair of black pants, I scrambled through the pockets, barely daring to breathe until my fingers brushed a strip of cloth.
“I got it.” My voice was breathless as I rose to my feet. I wasn’t sure it would still be there, but the dried blood peeked out on the edge of the cloth. “Scarven’s blood.”
Nox’s forehead scrunched. “How did you get that?”
“It was the night he took me. I told you how I bit his lip and drew blood when he kissed me, remember?”
His eyes glinted with rage as his hand curled into a fist. “I try not to,” he said through gritted teeth.
I kept going. “I wiped it on the back of my hand before he healed himself, then transferred it to this cloth when I got back to my room. I thought I could use it to get through the portal to the Hollow, but this is better. Fates, I can’tbelieveit was still in my pocket.”
“I don’t understand how this helps,” Nox said.
“You told me Silas cast a spell to see a vision of me, right? That’s how you found me in the cell?” I saw the moment realization dawned on him. “You said he needed something of mine to cast it. My sweater. Well, this is a lot better than a sweater.”
The corner of his lip tugged upward. “You absolutegenius,” he said on an exhale. He grabbed my waist and lifted me into the air, spinning us in a circle. “You beautiful”—he kissed my neck—“perfect”—I giggled when he kissed my cheek—“nosy little genius.”
His lips found mine, hungry and aching and full of both hope and sorrow rolled into one. I gasped against him and wrapped my legs around his middle, letting the world fall away for just one moment. Just a handful of heartbeats in this bubble of solitude.
We broke away panting, and he rested his forehead on my chin. I breathed him in as my fingernails scratched the base of his skull. “This isn’t over, Nox,” I said quietly. “We can find him. We can strike back.”
He slowly lowered me to the ground, his enormous frame towering over me as he tenderly ran a thumb across my cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You’ve given us another chance.”
