I wanted to feel something.Anything. Besides this churning in my gut and a sinking weight in my heart.
I nodded. “Yes. I will.”
He gave me a forlorn smile and slid the ring onto my left hand. It was a perfect fit, but it felt out of place. Heavy.
I knew this was how it would be. This was an obligation, even more so now than it had been a week ago. It was never going to bea love match. I was never going to have the fairytale ending my brother had with Rose.
But that was okay, because I’d be doing so muchgood.
“I may not know you very well, Empress, but you seem like the kind of person who would do anything if it meant helping others. Even if it wasn’t in your own best interests.”
Thorne’s deep voice caressed the back of my mind, and I shoved it away. He was an idealist. A dreamer. When the future of thousands of people lay in the palm of your hand, you couldn’t think of your own best interests or desires.
This looming marriage felt like both a salvation and a noose at the same time.
I squeezed my hand shut, running my thumb along the sharp edges of the center diamond. “Why are we bothering to go through with the rest of this tour? Why not get married as soon as tonight, with as bad as the curse is getting?”
He sighed. “Trust me, I wish it were as simple as that. But I need to be sure the regents will approve.”
“But you’re their king.” I squinted at him in confusion. “Since when do you need permission on who and when to marry?”
“It’s not their permission, necessarily. The regents are powerful families. While I may sit on the throne, they have nearly as much sway over their territories as I do. I’d rather know I have their backing before charging headfirst into an alliance with an empire we’ve spent the last three centuries despising. No offense,” he added hastily. “But can you imagine the uproar we’d cause if we got married in secret, without at least attempting to get them on our side? I don’t need a rebellion on my hands. Not on top of everything else.”
“Then…why don’t you tell the regents the urgency of breaking the curse? Surely, they’d understand.”
“Clarissa, they canneverknow of this curse,” he said. “Thorne and Azura only know because of their proximity to my family. If anyone else found out who I am,whatI am…if they knewIwas the one causing the blight…” He shook his head. “They would bust down the palace walls and have my head before I could blink. And I would deserve it.”
We fell into a strained silence, and he slowly sat upright, looking outside the window as Silenus Manor drew nearer. Wheels crunched over gravel and hooves clattered against rock, while the sun shone through the glass and highlighted his sharp, anxious features.
“It will all be over soon,” I whispered, partially to myself, and partially to ease the distress this day had brought to him.
“No, Clarissa.” His chest deflated on a sigh. “The curse may break, but what I’ve done…that will stay with me as long as I live.”
29
Clarissa
Everyone arrived back at the manor shortly after Galen and I did. I recounted what Galen had told me to my mother before Devora and Katrine appeared. The latter frantically forced us into our respective baths to wash up from the fields. Mia was enjoying her new domain and had sniffed every single item she could reach, then collapsed on the rug in the center of my room and napped peacefully. I sent Devora out to find some food and toys for her while Katrine begged me to get ready for the Harvest Festival. I couldn’t believe they were still continuing with the event, but Galen insisted on things happening as planned.
I felt…disconnected. Unfocused. Like my body was trying to put on a show, smiling and prancing around these events as if nothing was wrong. But my mind was spiraling through the secrets of this kingdom and this curse, everything I’d seen and heard in the last week.
And lately, those spiraling sessions included light blue eyes, a smirk that wasn’t afraid to call me out when I was in my own head, and warm hands that kept me grounded.
A knock sounded on the door to our suite. Mia instantly bolted awake and let out a high bark, rushing to the sound with Devoraon her heels. My maid answered it with a sweet, “Why, hello there!”
I turned away from the mirror where Katrine was buttoning up my dress to find Marigold in the doorway, with Mia up on her hind legs and yapping away excitedly. Marigold giggled as the dog licked her arms. She was precious in her pink and purple tulle skirt and flower crown.
“You look like a fairy queen!” she exclaimed, pointing at my dress while petting Mia with her other hand.
Katrine was incredibly talented—she had outdone herself with this one. The bottom layer of my lightweight gown was a soft cream color that flowed from my waist and trailed behind me, with a high slit in the front coming up to my thigh. A thin outer layer of shimmering gold fabric covered the entire dress. Green threads that looked like vines with multi-colored flowers snaked their way down the tight corset and over the waistline, spreading out among the gold and cream.
“Well, thank you,” I said with a laugh. “And you look like a little princess.” My grin faltered when Thorne’s large body came into view, his hand on her back as he glanced around the room sheepishly.
“I’m sorry to bother you, but she kept asking if she could play with the pup again…” He trailed off as his eyes found me. The way they slowly drifted up from the slit at my legs to my neck made heat pulse against my skin.
“You look beautiful, Empress,” he said, voice rough.
“Look, Daddy, we match!” Marigold cried, drawing my attention back to her. She motioned to the flower crown on top of her head. I smiled and touched the one I wore, which Devora had made out of green vines, pearls, and wisteria.
