She kissed my temple. “I didn’t know him well before Ayla brought him around, but it was clear from the moment she introduced us that he was simply infatuated with your mother. Fiercely protective and loyal, but in his own quiet way. Like the ocean. I used to say your mother was fire, and he was water—steady and strong. Set in his ways. A bit stubborn sometimes, like someone else I know,” she said with a laugh in her voice.
She told me stories of him and my mother, their whirlwind romance and quick marriage. Some memories were funny, like when my mother charmed his pencil to spell every word he wrote incorrectly. Some were joyful and full of pride, such as starting the Arcane together and finding out they were pregnant with me.
“Rose,” she said, moving her shoulder so she could look into my eyes. “You may not be ready yet to talk about what happened to him, but just know that I’m here when you are. You haveneverhad to face this on your own. Ragnar and I just…didn’t know how to navigate it. You were so young.” Her voice cracked, eyes shining with tears once more.
Her words reminded me of what Rissa had said the day before. It was easy to feel alone when all you had for so long was your own anger and repressed trauma, always knowingsomethingwas wrong but never being able to put your finger on it.
That anger was still there. I wasn’t sure it would ever truly leave me. I knew it would rear its head again, my stubborn nature refusing to back down and show vulnerability. Anger was such a comfortable substitution for me, and now I had a better understanding of why.
But knowing I wasn’t alone…it made it all a little easier to bear.
I gave myself a single day to sift through those emotions and recover from the resurgence of memories. In a way, I was thankful to have so many other things vying for my attention, forcing me to get up and move.
Morgana, Beau, and I had a quiet dinner that night in the infirmary at Ragnar’s bedside. Beau and I played cards while Morgana read softly to my uncle, the three of us finding pockets of calm in the storm of these past days.
When the next morning came, I woke with a sense of purpose and determination. I had four full days until the second trial. Four full days to search the palace, to learn every nook and cranny and find a way to slip past Gayl’s defenses.
I threw on a pair of leggings and a dark tunic, brushing quickly through my hair before swinging the door open and searching the corridor for the familiar guard. There he stood, at the intersection of another hall, steadfast and surly as ever. Like my personal grumpy guard dog. When I caught his eye and beckoned him closer, I could see a thick blonde eyebrow hitch even from this distance.
“Didn’t see you much yesterday, girl,” Horace said, eyeing me as he drew nearer. “Everything alright?”
My purge of emotions the day before must have lingered, because I felt a surge of compassion for this man. He not onlyupheld his responsibility to be there when I needed, but also seemed to truly care about me. His indignation at Callum, his gentleness when dealing with the aftermath, his short words of wisdom to keep me from spiraling or attacking.
My first real friend from the capital.
“I’m fine, Horace,” I said. “I just needed some time. But I’m ready to start making progress.” Opening the door wider for him to come in, I glanced down the hall to check for listening ears. “Do you still have those maps?”
He grunted. “Yes, but can’t keep them much longer. I borrowed them from our commanding officer when I told him I wanted to tighten up security for the challengers. He expects them back soon.”
“That’s fine. I’ll make a copy to keep with me.” I found spare parchment in my bags and got to work tracing the lines of the palace layout, adding a few labels at Horace’s direction to remember where important halls and chambers were.
I folded my fresh map and tucked it in a pocket, then stuffed new supplies into my pouch of herbs. When the two of us marched out the door, Horace cleared his throat. “Be careful. I’ve got orders from the Guard saying I have to stick to a certain area, so I can’t follow you everywhere. Just…don’t get yourself killed.” Patting me awkwardly on the shoulder, he added gruffly, “It’s good to have you back, girl.”
A genuine grin split across my face. “I’m just getting started.”
30
Rose
My first course of action was to find that hallway at the northern end of the palace that I’d followed Gayl down. I’d been so positive during the meeting with the Sentinels that I knew which corridor it was, but in reality, I hadn’t been paying much attention. It was entirely possible I’d misremembered, as Leo had pointed out. I just didn’t want to admit that tohim.
My thoughts had swayed to him more than once since I left him on the outskirts of the palace grounds. The time to myself had allowed me a fresh perspective on things. Maybe I’d been harsh on him, using my fury at his father for a shield against what rested beneath, and then letting that twist every word he said, every scowl he made. I could still see his onyx eyes narrowed in disapproval, the dark stubble shadowing a clenched, strong jaw, veined hands running through his hair in irritation.
I tried to push him from my head. Tried not to contrast that version of him with the fleeting stranger in the alcove, whose brows had furrowed in concern as warm hands steadied me. How ironic it was thathe’dbeen the one who calmed my panic. With his body shoved into mine, the friction of my spine against the roughstone wall, the weighted anticipation of someone finding us…it had been the distraction I needed.
But now I needed to focus. And trying to unweave these contradicting ideas of the prideful, protective, handsome rebel wasn’t helping.
The north end where I’d found Gayl was down two flights of stairs and through a maze of hallways. I took my time retracing my steps, paying attention to the hand drawn maps and noting anything of interest. I quickly discovered the palace wasfullof passageways and entries cloaked in shadow, secret staircases and servant’s shortcuts hardly visible to the untrained eye. If one passed by too quickly or wasn’t intentionally looking for things out of the ordinary, they were easily missed. My mind turned it into a game, seeing how many secrets I could uncover, how many puzzles I could solve.
I marked them all on my map, promising to come investigate later. My goal now was to find that dark hallway Gayl had disappeared in three days ago. But as I turned down corridor after corridor, nothing sparked my memory. They all looked the same: long, stone hallways with arched wooden doors and guards stationed at the entrances. The same gilded portraits with some landscape or another, the same green rugs beneath my feet, the same decorative clocks and mirrors and chandeliers.
I spent the entire day hunting for that ominous door at the end of every corridor, but each time I thought I’d found the right one, it was a dead end. There were no hidden doors leading to that cold, darkened hall. No sign of Gayl anywhere in this wing, in fact.
Maybe I was in the wrong area. Maybe it had been the west side I’d mistakenly traveled down, too lost in the maps of the city to notice.
The next day was much the same. Staying away from suspicious glances as I pretended to tour the massive palace, scrawling my notes and even being bold enough to follow a few guards under an invisibility spell to see where they went. There were a handfulof times I had to shield myself or scurry into a shadowed alcove when I heard the familiar voices of other challengers passing by. Dealing with Callum or Alaric while my ego was still bruised wasn’t going to help matters.
By the end of the third day, my patience was wearing thin. Not that it was my strong suit to begin with. I’d been searching for that hallway for three days and had nothing to show for it besides some semi-legible notes and a list of questionable hiding places.
