I was tired of feeling pain. I’d wished for death in that endless void, and now that I was back, now that Leo was in front of me, I just wanted to feelhim. To know this was real and not a figment of my imagination conjured to distract me from that torment.
“I’m okay,” I said, even as a tear slipped out and dripped down my face. My hands shook when I grabbed his and placed it back on my cheek. Closing my eyes, I inhaled at his touch, at his solid warmth, not the darkness and hurt and agonizing power.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to mine.
“How long was I gone?”
A pause. “Twelve days.”
I swallowed.Twelve days. The memory of those final moments in the chamber with Gayl flooded me. “Rissa and Lark? Are they safe?”
He leaned back and nodded, swiping away a tear with histhumb. “Rissa healed quickly, and Lark…she’ll be alright. She’s getting better.”
Letting out a breath, I said, “And Gayl? Is he really…”
“He’s gone, sweetheart.”
My hand gripped the sheets beneath me. He’d killed my father. He’d killedallthose men who had once followed him. Who hadbelievedin him. He started the curse as a way to gain infinite power at the expense of his people. It wasgoodthat he was dead. My hatred for him burned as hot as a raging fire, simmering in my very blood.
But, for a split second, my heart dropped.
I thought of the young man in that portrait with my father. How happy they’d seemed. Their lives could have been so different.
“The curse?” I asked, daring to hope. “Did Uncle Ragnar wake up? Or Chaz?”
Leo pressed his lips together then shook his head. Disappointment crashed into me. “Other spells Gayl cast have broken, like memory charms he placed on people. But those under the Somnivae curse…they’re still asleep.”
It hadn’t worked. Taking Gayl’s life hadn't worked.
“What happened to you?” he asked softly, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
“I—I don’t know.” I struggled to not let myself go back to that place, to not remember the suffering and helplessness. “I siphoned his power and it…it was too much for me to handle. It was like I was in this void. This prison. His magic burned through me, so powerful I thought it was going to rip me in half. I thought I was dead.” The pressure at the back of my eyelids and in my chest mounted. “Iwantedto die. It was too much. It—” I broke off, the words catching in my throat.
Leo carefully sat on the bed next to me and lifted my body, placing me in his lap. My arms circled his neck and I buried my face in his shoulder. I willed my panic to subside as his hand creptunder my sweater and rubbed circles on my bare skin, pressing me closer into him.
“What if it’s not over?” I whispered faintly, my voice muffled against his shirt. “I—I can still feel it. His magic. What if the pain comes back?”
His hand moved to grip my waist. “We’ll figure it out, Rose. We’ll siphon it from you, if we have to. I’m not going to let this happen again.” When I didn’t respond, he pulled me back an inch to look down at my face. “Do you believe me?”
“I want to,” I breathed out. I couldn’t shake the fear, the ghost of that chasm pulling and searing me whole. His closeness was the only thing holding me together.
As if he could see my distress, he gently asked, “What do you need from me, sweetheart?”
My breath hitched. “Just…just stay here. Don’t leave me.”
“Leave you?” His brow furrowed. “There is no world, no emperor, nomagicthat could tear me from your side, Rose.”
That well inside me rose and crested, and tears sprang to the surface. I clung to him, his body hard and steady beneath mine, and I let him anchor me.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked, the words fluttering over my cheeks. When I nodded, he slowly leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. Tender and careful, afraid to jostle my sore body or push me too far.
He broke away, still close enough that his eyelashes fanned across my skin when he blinked. “I don’t want to hurt you again,” he said quietly.
“You won’t,” I said, bringing my mouth back to his.
He was still hesitant, still careful, his movements controlled as he held my back. But Fates, I didn’t want to feel breakable. I didn’t want to feel like I could fall apart at the slightest touch, no matter how cracked I truly was. I pinned myself to him and wound my arms around his neck, ignoring the discomfort as the foreign magic still warred beneath my skin. When I bit his lower lip, he groaned into me, finally letting go of his self control.
Gripping my waist, he turned our bodies and pushed my back to the bed, hovering over me with his loose shirt exposing a hint of his chest. Another sharp pang went through me, but my heart was pounding so furiously I barely felt it. He leaned down and ran his lips along my neck, his beard scratching my skin. I gasped when he kissed the spot below my ear, making my pulse race.
