“Well, it turns outsomeonehas gotten me in the bad habit of being unable to sleep without you at my side, so I guess you’re joining me,” I teased in a quiet voice.
“You know we can hear you,” Horace said from across the fire.
“Then don’t listen,” I retorted.
The guard looked over at Lark. “If we’re choosing sleeping partners for the night…”
She scoffed. “I’ll take my chances with the fox.”
Shrugging, he stoked the fire with a large stick and said, “Suit yourself. There’s a fifty percent chance I smell better, though.” He set down the stick and lumbered to his feet. “I’ll take first watch.”
The four of us spread out over the cave floor, the fire hot enough that its warmth covered the entirety of the space. Lark offered a goodnight and, true to her word, led Rissa over to the furthest corner and did her best to turn her gown into a padding to lay on. Within moments, I heard her soft snores bouncing off the walls.
Leo and I claimed a shadowed section near one of the other tunnel entrances. He motioned for me to rest on his arm, using him as a pillow while he stretched out on his side across the hard, stone floor, and tried to keep his back from touching the surface.
“Such a gentleman,” I said with a yawn, curling toward him and draping my arm over his chest. He pulled me closer to him with his free hand, his fingers digging into my waist through the fabric of my dress. I could feel how tight and rigid his muscles were.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered as I moved my head back to see his face. His eyes were tired and bloodshot, his jaw tensed beneath the dark scruff that had begun to grow thicker.
He met my questioning stare and softened. “Nothing. You should sleep, Rose.”
I used his chest to push up, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. “Try that again.”
“So stubborn,” he said, tracing circles on the back of my hand. “This night has put me on edge, that’s all. Waking up and not knowing where we were, watching that creature in the tunnels throw you against the wall, finding my sister huddled in the dirt…” He shuddered and closed his eyes. “I know you’re both alright, but in those moments, I felt like I’d failed you. I didn’t know how to help either of you.”
My shoulders dipped. I laid back down next to him, intertwining our fingers and squeezing. “You didn’t fail us, Leo. We’re here now, together.”
“The worst part is that I can’t see what’s around the next corner. I don’t know what’s waiting for us when we open our eyes. This isn’t a trial of the Decemvirate anymore. It means so much more than that, and I hate not knowing what Gayl’s plan is.” His grip on my hand was so tight, his knuckles were turning white. “There’s a reason the only people besides challengers here are the Sentinels. He wants us gone. And if that’s my fate, so be it. But my sister is meant for more in this world. Horace and Lark don’t deserve to be punished for fighting for what they believe in. This all needs toend.”
I extricated myself from his grasp to rest my palm on his cheek. “It will, Leo. We’re going to get out of this—allof us—and we’ll make sure the empire knows what he’s done. We’ll take the crown from him and put someone in his place who will do what it takes to bring peace back. And”—I angled his head so he was forced to look at me—“your family…yourfather’sname, will be cleared. You should be proud of who you are, not hiding in the shadows for the rest of your life.”
He gave me a half smile. “You seem very sure of all of this.”
I shrugged. “If I’m wrong, then we can run away together.”
His lip quirked up. “Run away together? That’s your solution?”
“Why not? Somewhere nice and warm, but nottoowarm. Maybe near water.” I twisted my lips, pretending to think. “You know, this island wouldn’t be too bad. If it wasn’t trying to kill us.”
To my surprise, he didn’t laugh off my ridiculous offer. Thecorners of his eyes crinkled in contemplation as he brought his free arm up and lightly ran his thumb along my chin, my jaw, my lips. “I would run anywhere with you, Rose. Even if it means we run to our end, I would go with you.”
The words he’d said only a handful of hours ago at the ball echoed around me again.“I’ve already chosen to love you, Rose Wolff. Beyond sense, beyond reason. There is no part of you I do not choose.”
I’d never responded. Nox had interrupted, and even if he hadn’t, I wasn’t sure what I would have said. I didn’t have a quick retort, no joke to mask the gravity of his confession, no cloak to hide behind.
Love was an emotion, one I had reserved for as little number of people as possible. But it was also achoice,one I had actively avoided making for as long as I could remember.
Perhaps it looked different to everyone. Sweet nothings whispered in an ear, gifts and laughter and promises and secrets. Grand declarations under the stars. Stolen touches and heated looks, the feel of skin beneath your fingertips and passion that burned the world down.
And those were all true, I imagined.
But to me…love was a dagger pressed to a throat in the middle of a hidden hallway. Sharp tongues and writhing glares that made you come alive and come undone. An offer of friendship, an olive branch in a tempestuous sea of dread, a second chance when you didn’t deserve it.
I think I’d known the truth for a while. At the dress shop, Rissa told me I had a choice to make: if my happiness was worth the risk, or if I’d let my fear get in the way as I always had before.
Fates, I was afraid of so many things. So much so that I’d denied its very existence and tucked it away, claiming to be impervious, untouchable, unmarred. I wastiredof it. Tired of letting it control me from the shadows like a ghost hanging over my shoulder.
I chosehim. I chose happiness. However fleeting it may be.
