“Yes, I—” My brow furrowed. Something tugged at the back of my mind. Something that wouldn’t let me put this off.
I wet my lips. “I—I think I should go. I don’t want him to get suspicious of anything. He already knows I’m close with the Sentinels, and has assured your protection only so long as he doesn’t think you’re up to something.”
Leo ran a hand through his hair. “I know we don’t see eye to eye on this and you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself. But I don’t like what he’s teaching you. He’s not telling you the full truth about this magic. What does he want from you? Why does he insist on these meetings?”
“I understand how temperamental blood magic can be—trust me, Leo. I don’t want what happened today to ever happen again.” I swallowed. The truth of my statement was at odds with the idea of letting this power go. Of having this taste of ecstasy and freedom, only to have it ripped from me. “But I have a part to play, remember? I’m getting close to him. I think I could even try to read his Grimoire, see if there are any notes or spells in his research that hint at a way to get around this curse. He told me he’d never found another solution, but I don’t know if I believe him anymore. I have to at least try.”
He put his forehead to mine and breathed out. “I don’t like this,” he said.
I laughed softly. “Is the big, badhalfShifter worried about me?”
He kissed my cheek, stealing the humor and replacing it with a heavy warmth deep in my chest. “You have no idea. I become a useless wreck every time I know you’re with him. Every time I know I can’t help you if something goes wrong.” A dry chuckle left his throat. “Chaz called me a stalker last time.”
His face fell at the mention of his friend, and I cupped his cheek. “I’ll be fine. Theodore won’t hurt me.”
My use of the emperor’s first name made Leo’s forehead crinkle. “You seem to put a lot of faith in him.” His tone wasn’t accusatory, only concerned, and for once, my defenses didn’t raise. I needed to be open with him, to stop seeing every word as a threat or reproach.
I sighed and closed my eyes. “I know. And I know he’s done terrible things. I’m not trying to deny that. But I—I’m just confused.” I hadn’t talked much about my time with Theodore for fear of letting something slip, but now that Leo knew the whole truth, it was a relief to finally share everything with him.
Slumping onto the end of the bed, I leaned back on my hands and faced the ceiling. “I used to hate him. I hated this shadowed figurehead that ran the empire, who let all these terrible things happen to the provinces and seemed to love feeding into people’s darker sides. Then…then I found out who he was.” My brow furrowed, my words slowing as I thought through them. “The fact that he’s my uncle didn’t negate any of that, but…I started seeing him differently. He wasn’t who I expected him to be. He was sentimental, regretful, even. I think he truly misses my father and what they used to have.”
I snuck a glance at Leo, surprised to find him attentive, no judgment or disapproval on his features. It gave me courage to continue. “He represented something I didn’t think I’d ever have again. He could tell me about my father, about his life before me, his dreams and passions and talents. And when I found out about the blood magic…it gave me a sense of purpose. Power. I’d always been told it was this monstrous, evil magic that corrupted you and broke every law of nature.” I pressed my lips together. “Maybe it is, in some ways. But he made me think about it differently. And maybe…maybe not everything is so black and white. Good or evil. I think all magic can have a bit of both in it. Fates,peoplecan have a bit of both.”
Standing abruptly, I paced in front of my bed. “He has this passion that’s socontagious. And a way of forcing you to see things in a new light. But you’re right. It’s dangerous. Because even when IknowI’m right, even when I confront him, I leave questioning…everything. It’s like he has this hold over me, and I—I can’t see past that when I’m with him.”
Leo put both hands on my shoulders, stopping me from my movements. “You’re not the only one, sweetheart. That’s why he’s so powerful. Having strong magic is one thing, but the power to convince people? To influence them so completely that they question their own beliefs? That’struecontrol. And that’s the danger, Rose. Not his magic.” He pulled me into an embrace, his hand slipping beneath my shirt and pressing into my lower back. I sank into his hold and closed my eyes.
“Be careful,” he whispered in my ear, his lips soft against my skin. “He can’t control you unless you let him. Remember how you feel right now, and don’t let his words twist inside your head.”
I nodded, pulling back to look at him. “Will you be here when I get back?”
A gentleness settled in his eyes. He played with a strand of my hair, winding it around his finger. “I’m not going anywhere, Rose.”
57
Rose
Ibarged into Theodore’s private study, barely feeling the sting from where I’d cut my hand on the magical portrait.
“I was beginning to think you would not show,” Theodore said, his back to me as he reached for a book on a shelf behind his desk.
Seeing him standing there so casually, so unaffected, when I’d spent my whole day with hands covered in the blood of victims ofhisempire, made fresh rage surge to the surface.
My jaw ticked. “Well, I’m here.”
He turned toward me and raised an eyebrow. “Are you angry with me?”
Ignoring him, I said, “Why did you ask me to come here so late?”
“I apologize,” he said, shutting the book with a thump. “I know it’s been nearly a week since our last meeting. I’ve been caught up in urgent matters.”
I hummed in response, refusing to look at him, instead running my hand along the spines on a nearby bookshelf. My finger caught a small glass vial, and I watched as it tipped over and fell, rolling to the edge of the shelf and crashing to the hard floor. The sound ofshattering glass echoed in the quiet study, but neither of us reacted.
“What kind of urgent matters?” I asked stiffly, eyes still on the shelf as I plucked a leatherbound book from its spot.
“A new king has been crowned in Mysthelm.”
My gaze snapped to him. “Why is that urgent?”
