But when Horace sent word that Rose had left to meet with Gayl again, I couldn’t wait idly in the cottage.
The other night when she’d woken from her nightmare in my bed, I’d wanted to do everything in my power to take it all away. It brought me back to those days growing up, how my sister would walk home with bruises on her body before her Shifter blood could heal her quickly. How I’d catch my mother crying in the closet or watch my father’s paranoia consume him from the inside. So much pain, and all I’d desired was to remove it.
Rose said she felt as if something was wrong with her. That nobody wanted to get close. Ever since then, I’d imagined her alone up there in her empty room, facing the aftermath of the second trial and all that had happened to her thus far with nobody by her side.
She didn’t have to be alone, though. Not anymore.
A light flickered inside the room, illuminating the curtains in apale glow. Pushing off from the tree, I made my way through the shadows of the palace grounds, pausing several stories beneath her window. I summoned my Shifter half, and my senses were immediately overwhelmed by the increased scents and sounds as I adjusted to the environment. I could smell her, even down here. The way the lavender and sage wrapped around me and beckoned me to her should have frightened me. It should have made me turn away and retreat to my cottage, never to look back again.
This life I lived…it wasn’t conducive to whatever might be happening between us. Constant secrecy and violence, looking over our shoulders at every turn, Sentinel meetings and patrols and missions and scheming. I didn’t need something else to focus on, not when change was coming. Not when danger lurked around the corner. If things went poorly, we could be on the verge of a civil war.
But none of that seemed to matter when it came to her.
Crouching low, strength reverberated in my bones as I lunged to the first ledge, then the second, then the third. Before I muted my Shifter instincts, I caught a glimpse of her through the thin fabric of the curtains, my sharpened eyesight making me acutely aware of every inch of her. She sat on her bed, legs crossed, her thick, dark hair cascading down one shoulder as she bent over a book. Her hand came up to brush it behind her ear, and I could see those beautiful high cheekbones, long lashes that brushed the tops of them when she blinked, bright eyes intently focused as they flitted across the pages.
Chaz was right. I was a stalker.
I tapped on her window and reined in my Shifter half. Her neck turned toward me, a myriad of reactions racing across her face. She thought she hid her emotions well beneath those layers of hers, but I could read them. Her brow pinched in confusion, then widened when she saw my silhouette, her lips curving upward. But her grin fell as she scrambled to close the mysterious book and tuck it away.
My apprehension grew. Was she still hiding things from me?
She walked to the window and pulled it open, leaning against the frame and crossing her arms. A coy smile played on her lips. “And what might you be doing here at this hour?”
“Horace told me about your meeting with Gayl. I wanted to see how you were doing,” I answered honestly.
“I’m fine,” she said, shrugging one shoulder.
I narrowed my eyes.Stubborn girl.
With a sigh, she dropped her arms and opened the window wider, letting me step over the ledge and into her room.
“Maybe notcompletelyfine. These last few days have been…a lot to wrap my head around.”
“I heard about the challenger who died in the trial,” I said. “I’m sorry that happened.”
“I didn’t really know her. I feel bad for her family, though. They held a memorial for her today, but it was just for show.” She shook her head. “The rankings came right after. Reporters were there to record the entire thing. It was disgusting.”
“That sounds like Gayl. Exploiting the suffering of others for the sake of the tournament. I know Lark has had her hands full since the trial ended—we’ve barely heard a word from her.”
Rose gave me a sheepish look. “Imighthave yelled at her and Horace earlier,” she said, rubbing a hand at the back of her neck. “I just got so angry after the second trial. They knew what I was walking into, and after these last couple weeks, I thought we were…I guessfriendsis too strong of a word, but still.”
She was hurt. Understandably so. And Rose’s first and foremost reaction to anything that hurt was anger—something I knew all too well, myself.
“I know this is difficult,” I began, taking a step toward her. She averted her gaze and stared at the floor. “The lines between ally and friend are always blurred for people like us. I even struggle with Rissa and knowing when to separate the mission from the fact that she’s also my sister.”
She eyed me. “People like us?”
“You know, charming. Outgoing. People pleasers.”
She snorted. “Yes, that sounds just like us.”
Sliding a finger under her chin, I let my teasing grin fall and gently angled her to face me again. “But I promise, you can always talk to me if you need someone. I know how hard it is to make friends when you’re constantly on guard, when there’salwaysan agenda.”
“Always waiting for the other shoe to fall,” she added, eyes wavering to my lips. “Worried people only want you for what you can give them. Or that anything good will eventually come to an end.”
“Something like that,” I murmured. I was unable to look away, unable to pull myself out of this hold she had on me. My pulse raced when she bit her lip, dragging her eyes back to mine.
“I’m glad you came,” she admitted. “Maybe I did need someone to talk to.”
