I turned around to see Paige swinging on him like a dude. I ran up to him and kicked him in his balls. Papi grunted as he dropped to his knees. That’s when another guy got out of the car and aimed a gun at the back of Paige’s head. I ran up to try to stop him when I heard Samara scream, “Keith, no!”
Bloaw! Bloaw! Bloaw!
I had gone home to shower and switch up my clothes. I checked the clock because I was waiting for Piggy, but she hadn’t shown up yet. I called her phone multiple times, and those calls went unanswered. I was trying to keep my nerves in check, but the more I called, and it went to voicemail, the more eager I became to do what I had been trying not to.
I walked down the hall to my office and sat in front of my computer, fingers hovering over the keyboard. I took a deep breath and let my fingers do the work. My first action was to track my car; I saw it moving, but it was heading toward Chevy’s, not my house. Then, I tapped into the mini camera installed in my car's air vent. I pressed the sound button while watching four frantic girls.
“Are y’all okay?” Piggy’s voice sounded scared.
They all glanced at each other. “Chevy and Dio are going to kill me,” Samara cried.
Alyse hands shook as she leaned toward the front seat. “Fuck! Why did he have to pull a gun out?”
“I don’t know, but,” Paige paused.
But what?I thought. “Scooter is going to flip when he finds out his brother is dead,” she finished.
I hopped up from my chair. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the fuck did y’all do!” I shouted.
I wasn’t sure what happened, but I needed to get to Chevy’s to find out. I hurried down the hall to grab my shirt and bike keys. I opened the door, and something in me shifted. Everything I was thinking went out the window as the little boy in me emerged. “Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy,” he paused as his lips trembled. “Bir-birthday to Braylen. Happy birthday to you, son,” my father said as he held a cake in one hand and kiddie-like balloons in the other.
I stood there as my emotions began to take over. I was trying my hardest to fight it, but it was hard. There has never been a birthday on which my father has done something like this.Why now? Why wait all these years?I had so many questions. He came closer, extending his arm, trying to give me the cake. I reached out to grab it, but as much as I was hurting and yearning for a moment like this, I was also angry. I swatted the cake from his hand, sending it to the floor. “Cake doesn’t fix a broken person,” I gritted.
My skin felt hot, my anger switched again to bottled emotions, and my eyes watered. “You let it happen, Dad. You let Fiona do this to me. You let her ruin me, and because of it, I cannot let it go,” I choked up.
My dad tried to hug me, but I didn’t want hugs; I didn’t want a sorry; I wanted answers. When his hand touched me, I gripped his shirt and swung his ass against the wall. “You see this!” Ishouted. “I have years of anger. Years of pain. That little boy, the one you called your son, is gone. Fiona created a beast in me, and now he forever lives here. She’s not even my real mother. You,” I shook his ass. “You allowed her to beat and belittle me.”
Tears streamed down my father’s face because he knew he had fucked up. His mouth opened. “I know!” he shouted. “Braylen, I know. When your mother died giving birth to you, I was a struggling law student. I-I wanted you to grow up having a mother. I will never, and I mean never, forgive myself for it,” he sobbed. “Fiona had a hold on me. I was desperate to have the perfect family. She accepted me when I had betrayed her, and for that, I gave her my undying love.”
I slammed his head against the wall. “Yeah, well, your love should have been redirected to the one person who needed it, like me.”
I wanted to forgive him. I wanted the father-son relationship I’d dreamed of so many times, but I couldn’t. “I don’t know what love is because of you two. I don’t know how to not keep my feelings guarded because of you two. I have trust issues because of you two, and I don’t know what it’s like to have a family, not because of Fiona, but because of you,” I said as my voice began to lower. “I wanted to feel a part of a family so bad that I joined a fraternity seeking something, and still felt nothing. It wasn’t until today that I felt that with a woman who cares for me. She cares for me in a way I don’t even know how to reciprocate,” I finished as tears betrayed me, thinking about Piggy.
“I want to start over,” he mumbled. “I want to be better. I’m divorcing her.”
I shook my head and released him. My father couldn’t be that oblivious to the shit that happened. I turned around and paced the floor. “The shit that she done to me,” I choked up.
I could hear his footsteps coming behind me. “What the hell?” He whispered, his voice sounding devastated. Now he knew if he hadn’t known before.
My head slightly turned his way. “Over thirty years, and you’re finally able to walk away. You know, when I graduated and built that game, I thought it would click then to you that I had somehow overcome the shit Fiona put me through. I thought you would have been like, if my son could find a way to make shit happen without Fiona and me, then maybe I could find a way to live without her. But no, you stayed. Dad, with all due respect, get out. For every lash she gave me when you pissed her off, for every lash she gave me because I did something she didn’t like, and for every lash she gave me simply because I wasn’t hers, is the amount of time I need to simmer and decide if I will ever forgive. So yeah, happy fucking birthday to me.”
My father’s hand slowly opened as he released the balloons. As they slowly floated up toward my vaulted ceiling, the weight of his pain had lifted from me.
It made me think about what Chevy had said. I knew this birthday wouldn’t be complete until I faced off with my true demon, Fiona. In the meantime, I need to get over to Chev’s.
CHEVY
The Zoo lights flickered as I entered. I eased over toward Naheem’s limping, swinging body. His head rolled side to side as he looked like a fucked-up piece of burnt swine. As his eyes rose to look at me, he began to bellow a laugh. “You think I’m supposed to be scared, nigga,” he hissed.
I unsnapped my sling as he continued to spew shit from his funky ass mouth. Although the pain was still lingering, I ate that shit because this moment was going to happen with or without pain. “You know the difference between Bishop and me?” I asked as I had now set the sling on the table.
Naheem bucked. “I don’t give a fuck, simple nigga!” he barked.
I heckled. “I know you don’t, but I will share anyway. The difference is, I don’t give a fuck about you. I don’t have a reason to feel a slither of empathy for you. I don’t have a reason to think twice,” I grumbled as I quickly pulled the blade from my pocket and jabbed his ass.
“Ah, grrr,”he foamed at the mouth.
“Another thing I’ve never been a fan of is a muhfucka who doesn’t care for their own blood,” I said as I jabbed his ass again.
