I stood at the door after Piggy left. There were too many fucking layers between her and me, and I wasn’t sure if what my heart was telling me to do was right because my mind was telling me to leave things as they were. One of her brothers used to be the opps; she was younger than me, and she lived in a fantasy world while the real world was much different. She wanted the Cinderella story, getting the prince in the end, and I couldn’t give her that.
I’ve never been in a relationship; the most I’ve given to a woman was dick. I didn’t believe in giving my time because it left room for prying. I gave minimal energy because, if not, it would have left room for mine to be drained. I chose to stay away from it all. One, it became too personal; two, people constantly changed; and three, I didn’t have time to deal with complex things like soul tying.
To me, a relationship meant pure control. It gave women the power to do whatever they wanted with no recourse. I’ve seenhow my niggas fold under that pressure. How Monfua was when Lakia had that nigga going through the motions. Zu reacted heartlessly when Sasha was running around the city crying over him. Mali, and the lengths he went to keep something so obvious from a woman because he was scared of being judged for who he really was. Chevy, the supposed king, crashed out over Zaria, who left him, and last, my parents.
They pretended so many times during family dinners, arguments, and moments of love that things had not changed between them over the years. My father allowed Fiona’s influence to affect his life so much that he became docile. He ignored the things she’d done to me. I was the pawn in her game. My father’s love skipped over me and poured into her. He chose marriage and stability over me.
Love is both a notion and an action. It is a mental thing that triggers the brain to make you believe it's real. Love floats in the air and has niggas jumping to catch it like Mario coins. It’s a game where people go through levels to reach a grand fucking prize. Love can get you stomped on, depressed, doing things you wouldn’t normally do, and even get you killed. Love is dangerous, dark, and sometimes unhealthy, and it was me who had to fight that shit off like an animal in the forest.
The way Piggy looked at me, I thought I saw love floating in her eyes, and that was breaking me down. Little did she know she was chiseling at the walls I worked so hard to build, and that alone was frustrating me. So, for me, the easiest thing to do was to push her away. I paced the floor, debating whether I should chase her again because although she saw a hard exterior, deep down, a nigga had a soft spot for her.
When I heard the elevator ding, I knew it was her coming back. As the doors opened, I stood there waiting to see her pretty ass face. However, it was one I wasn’t expecting.
“Son,” my mother said, smiling.
The woman who was supposed to teach me what love was ended up being the main reason I stayed away from it. She was supposed to nurture me, give me the guidance I needed when handling someone as delicate as Piggy. The woman who was supposed to be my first love, I hated. The way my animal spirit changed when I saw her face. It was her popping up out of the blue that turned whatever soft energy I had in me hard as steel. “What are you doing here?”
She stepped into my place, looking around. “Why is it so dark in here? You need some light in this place, some color.”
“Well, I won’t get any of that with you around. What is it that you want?”
Fiona knew she and I didn’t have that kind of relationship, so my words toward her weren’t a surprise. “Braylen, for once, give me a chance. I simply came here to talk to you; can we do that?”
I stopped and turned to look at her. “Talk.”
She strolled through my place, setting her purse down as if she was going to be here for a while. “How have you been? You haven’t come home to visit.”
“I don’t know, don’t it look—”
“Doesn’t it, son, doesn’t it?” she corrected me.
I shook my head.“Leave!”I barked.
She laughed like she always did when she didn’t want to hear what I had to say. “You can bark all you want, but the real question is: will you bite? Braylen, you should have enough common sense to know shit like that doesn’t scare me. So, again, why haven’t you visited your father or me?”
I almost broke my neck as I rushed into her face. “Because of shit like this. I don’t know your reasons for being here, but whatI smell is funky as fuck. Now,Ma, if what you have to say isn’t said in the next sixty,” I glanced at my watch. “Now, fifty-nine seconds, you need to fucking go.”
She laughed as she nodded. “You need to stay away from those Zoo boys, and I mean far away. I would hate for you to get caught up in the likes of June Calloway,” she shrugged. “Oh, and that pretty little chocolate girl, she couldn’t have been here for you, could she?”
My head lifted at the thought of her talking about Piggy. She and I stared each other down. She was waiting for me to respond in any way because that would let her know which buttons to push. “The Zoo has nothing to do with you. You need to worry less about them and more about the beast you created. Now, as I said before,Ma, leave.”
It took a few more seconds before she finally looked away. She grabbed her purse and headed off to wherever the fuck she came from. She glanced back at me, gave me a smirk, then stepped into the elevator. I had found ways to stay away from her because I feared what I was truly capable of. However, now that she was back around, she needed to tread lightly. If I knew nothing else about Fiona Laureaux, she could be dangerous if you let her.
MORGAN
PRESS PLAY
“Watch out!”I shouted as I tried navigating my way through the game. “I’m trying to find my damn sword! The wolves are about to catch me. Hold on! Hold on! Fuck!” I shouted as I played the game. “Thanks a lot, Beastthenerd21, you got me killed,” I grumbled.
My head fell back on the chair’s headrest as I started to get frustrated with the game. I glanced over at Scooter, who wasn’t even paying attention to the game, just me. “What are you staring at?” I hissed.
He grinned. “You, the shit is just a game, chill. You suck anyway. Who doesn’t know how to switch out their weapons? Let me see that shit,” he said to me.
I squinted at him. “This isn’t easy, you know,” I muttered as I handed him the controller.
“This shit can’t be that hard. Alright, let’s see,” he said as he concentrated on the game. “A nigga hasn’t played a game in years, but I bet all the shit is the same. So, let’s go back to LochNess. This princess shit is corny; you should have picked one of those goons.”
I laughed. “You mean goblins.”
