Chapter Three
“Hi, Aves.”Dylan held a military hat in his hands at thedoorway.
He didn’t have the right to greet me in the name he’d coined for me in high school. He didn’t have the right to still have that deep voice that made me want to listen to his every word. He didn’t have the right to be standing in my living room, in mylife.
Sadie and Zoey fled faster than I’d ever seen them move. Before I could protest, the front door, my main escape route, shut behindthem.
I shuffled back, but Dylan didn’t advance. Part of me wanted to know what had happened to him. Why was his hair scalp short, and why was he dressed up like a soldier when he was more a skaterboy?
“I know you must have a lot of questions.” He swallowed. I could see his Adam’s apple bob up and then down. The uniform made his shoulders look big and his waist small. The haircut made him look tough, but his eyes—those deep blue eyes that looked at me with such sorrow—betrayed hisappearance.
“No.” How could I admit that I was pathetic enough to think about him every day since he’d left? Or that I wanted to know why he’d disappeared in the night without me. “I don’t, so you canleave.”
I turned to retreat to my room, but he stopped me with one sentence. “I didn’t want to leaveyou.”
Those words ignited a pilot light of wondering into an explosion of anger. I turned on my heels and marched toward him. “Youdidn’twantto leave me? Seriously? Is that the words that every man uses when they abandonsomeone?”
“I didn’t abandon you. I left so that I could haveyou.”
My stomach rolled and tumbled into some dark, queasy, gargling, swampy pit. “Oh, is this the it’s-not-you-I’m-a-jerk talk? Save it. I’ve heard all the excuses from my mother and father before. That night you told me you’d give me time to decide. You told me you’d wait for me. That you wouldn’t leave withoutme.”
“Yes.” Dylan took a half step closer and set his hat down on the side table. “But unlike your parents, every word istrue.”
“You think you’re better than my parents? At least they told me they were leaving. Okay, my father didn’t, but he left a note toexplain.”
“I wrote toyou.”
“I heard. In the last six months. A year and a half after you fled the scene of my life.” I choked down the unwanted emotion. He didn’t get to see me cry. I wouldn’t cry. Never again. Not forhim.
He tilted his head down as if to analyze his shoes but then popped up to soldier-perfect posture. “It took me that long to be the person youdeserve.”
“I deservebetter.”
The way he placed a hand over his broad chest made me think that I’d just shot him straight through theheart.
“You’re right, but I need to explain before you write me out of your lifepermanently.”
“Before? Oh hon, that epic novel had the end written the minute youleft.”
If my words affected him, he didn’t show it this time. “I don’t want to upset you, but if you won’t listen to my words, maybe you’ll read my letters.” He reached into his breast pocket and held out a stack of unopened envelopes. The top one was stamped withReturn to Sender. For several moments he held them out to me, but I wouldn’t take them. It was a standoff. Five-foot-four Dixon girl against six-foot-two military officer. I knew so little about the military, I didn’t even know what branch uniform he was wearing or if it was even real. No matter what my eyes saw, my mind still couldn’t reconcile the image in front of me to the boy I once knew sowell.
He tossed the letters onto the sofa and closed another step between us. The aroma of fresh-clean uniform drifted my way. “Promise me that you’ll read them, and I’llleave.”
“No. I won’t.” I crossed my arms over my chest. Maybe I was being a brat, but it wasn’t about not wanting to listen to him. It was about what I might do if I read his words. Would I run away with him, only to have him disappear on meagain?
“I’ll wait in town until you do. Even if it means I goAWOL.”
“Again?” Ugh. It was a reactive question, like blocking apunch.
“You’ll understand if you read the letters.” Dylan opened the front door, stepped outside, and put his hat on his head. He turned and scanned me from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. “You are as beautiful as I remembered,” he said, his voice casting across the room and snagging myheart.
When the door shut, my knees hit the floor and I gasped for air. How could I know exactly what I wanted a few days ago, only to have everything turned upside downtoday?
I eyed the letters on the sofa, but I didn’t open them. He knew I was worse than a cat when it came to information. He’d baited me, and I wasn’t falling for it. All this did was show me that he still had power over me. Power I never wanted to give to anyone everagain.
