“Xai, I got DWIs. Another one and I’m going to jail. I can’t do that. I can’t go to no jail. I can’t. Please, let’s just go. She hit me anyway. She ran me off the road but it won’t matter and you know that. Plus, she’s breathing and talking. She’s fine. Somebody’s gonna be coming around that curve soon and they can help her.”
As the words spew out of his mouth, I can’t believe what the fuck I’m hearing. This lady needs help and I can’t leave her here. I’m not built that fucking way.
“I’m not leaving her,” I say sternly.
“Xai, I can’t go to jail. Please, I’m begging you.” He grabs my arm and stares into my eyes. His are filled with tears and fear.“You owe me,” he says and I freeze. “Why do you think I drink so much, huh? ’Cause when I’m sober, all I can do is think of that day,” he says and his words damn near knock the wind out of my lungs.
That day.
The biggest mistake of my life.
I’m torn and my guilt rears its ugly head. My little brother is fucked up because of me and he needs me. I couldn’t fix things back then but I can now. However, I just can’t change who I am at the core and not help this lady.
“Find my phone but I’m not calling the police. And I’m not leaving her here either. I can’t,” I say but he doesn’t move right away. “My fucking phone and hurry up,” I demand.
He scrambles around the shoulder while I walk over to the driver’s side. The door is really fucked up, so it takes a minute for me to jar it open. When I get it open, I reach in and struggle with her seatbelt next. The rain is picking up and it’s not as dark as it had been when I first pulled up. It takes a minute but I finally get it off.
“Can you walk?” I ask.
“I told you to go,” she says sternly through labored breathing.
“I’m not going to hurt you. I promise. I can get you out and I’m going to carry you to my truck. Okay? I’m going to take you to get help,” I tell her and she shakes her head. Obviously, she’s scared and probably in shock. To ease her mind, I try to give her a play by play. “I’m going to reach my hands under you and scoop you out of the seat.” She shakes her head again, slower this time, but I refuse to leave her here. I reach in, latching one arm behind her back and the other under her.
“Please,” she mumbles.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” I say again, more calmly.
As I look her over, I spot a bag on the seat I hadn’t paid attention to earlier. I grab it then pull her out. I rush her over tomy truck and gently place her in the back seat. I rush to let down the tailgate and pull out the ramp. Kadean is still bent over by her car while balancing on his non injured leg when I walk over to his bike.
“Did you find my fucking phone?” I ask.
“I think so but I dropped my shit. It’s dark and wet.”
“Find them both. We can’t leave no phones here. It’s bad enough we leaving this shit,” I snap.
“But taking her,” he mumbles.
“Yeah. We taking her,” I reiterate. “Now hurry the fuck up. I’m gonna get your bike.”
I step toward his bike and see his helmet a few feet away so I grab it, then walk back to the rear of my ride. I attach the helmet to the handle then lift his bike. His tire is flat so it takes a minute to push it to my truck and up the ramp. When it’s on, I lay it on its side then pull my ramp up. Once I hop off my truck bed, I close the tailgate. Kadean has hobbled over to the truck and is trying to get in the front seat but his leg isn’t cooperating. I help him in.
“The phones?” I ask as soon as I’m in.
“I got ’em. Now can we go?”
I just shake my head and drive off. My disappointment in him suffocates my truck as I drive to the hospital. I’m disappointed in him clearly drinking more after he left McCall’s, then taking his motorcycle from my garage and fucking riding it with no license, and definitely for riding it while drunk as fuck. And my heart is disappointed that he wanted me to leave this lady behind.This shit hurts.
While I drive, I constantly check my rearview mirror to see if she’s okay, breathing. Kadean is wincing and rubbing his leg but I’m not concerned about him. Not right now. This shit is his fault, and once again, I’m cleaning up a mess. However, this oneis much bigger. He didn’t just hurt himself; he hurt someone else.
As I get closer to Mount Sinai, I try to figure out how in the hell I’m going to get this lady help without identifying myself or Kadean. He’s wrong as hell for everything he did tonight, but he’s right, he cannot handle jail and I have to make sure he doesn’t end up there.
Kadean is spoiled and sheltered. I did my best raising him but the shit was hard. I was only nineteen when I took over the parental role. It was just us and I was practically still a kid myself in some ways. In the streets, I was definitely a man. I became one when I was thirteen and sold my first rock to make sure me and my six-year-old brother had something to eat. Because I was forced to grow up fast, I didn’t want that same fate for him.
By twenty-one, I gave up the corners and trap houses and took the eighty grand I had stacked over the years and invested it into my business. Clean Ridez was born and it was up from there. My current location is the go-to for detailing and washes on the Southside. Kadean works for me, so he’s never had to be on any corner. He’s never sold drugs. He’s never had to put in work or lay anybody down. That was my past so it wouldn’t have to be his present or future.
I may be out of the streets and the game but my heart hasn’t changed and neither has my grit. I could handle a bid but not Kadean. A day in jail would break him. Even though my anger for him is as strong as my disappointment, I’m still going to handle this.
When I reach Mount Sinai, I pull around to the back parking garage first to scope shit out. There’s no place back there where I can discreetly get her help. In there, I would fo’ sho get caught carrying her through the garage to one of the hospital entrances. I circle the entire building and spot a wheelchair at the end of the ambulance bay.Perfect.
