‘Why not?’ he mused. The worst that could happen was that she said no.
Email to Kate Crossley:
Hey Kate. How’s it going? Happy New Year! I know this is super last-minute and your wedding is only two weeks away, but I’m actually now going to be in London for a few weeks, and so if there’s room for a little one at the reception I’d love to come andcelebrate with you! Totally understand if not, would be great to catch up regardless. X
He couldn’t help but laugh at his own audacity. He imagined the look on Kate’s face when she read his email. It was something that both she and Eleanor would have scorned him for.
Eleanor.
His stomach dropped. God, he hadn’t thought of her in ages. Like nearly everything else in his past, she’d been banished into the far-flung corners of his mind. Maybe it was inevitable; he was after all going back to the place that was full of her. Suddenly a prickle of panic rippled over his skin. Was he really going to be able to do this?
‘You don’t have a choice,’ he affirmed, heaving himself out of the bed and throwing himself under the shower.
Eleanor
In the beginning of their relationship, Sundays had been Eleanor’s favourite day. It was the one time in the week that her and Oliver’s schedules seemed to actually align. Lazy mornings, long runs, indulgent dinners, and a deep desire to soak up every precious moment before the obligatory Monday blues hit. Maybe she should have read the signs better, as over the years the Sundays they managed to spend together became few and far between. There were still lazy mornings, long runs and indulgent dinners, but Eleanor often found herself doing them solo. Now every other Sunday involved lunch with her mother. An occasion she’d previously managed to schedule for once a month at best.
‘I told you we should have left earlier,’ Freya chided.
Eleanor swore as yet another traffic light turned red.
‘Seriously, Frey?’ Eleanor gripped the steering wheel tighter.
‘Mum’s going to think we did it on purpose, you know.’
‘I know! That’s why I’m feeling evenmorestressed than normal. I hate driving in London at the best of times.’ Sheshot her sister a fierce glare, but unsurprisingly she was on her phone and paying absolutely no attention.
‘You’re also probably still hungover, right?’ her sister goaded.
‘No.’ Eleanor felt the haze of the wine still hovering at the edges of her mind. ‘OK, maybe a little bit. Anyway, why do we even have to go to these lunches? Every two weeks is a bit excessive, no?’ Eleanor noticed the whining had crept back into her voice. Could heartbreak steal your soul and revert you to a stroppy teenager all at once?
‘Because Mum loves us. And …’ Freya glanced awkwardly over at Eleanor.
‘And everyone was scared how crazy I’d go when Oliver left me?’
Freya snorted. ‘Exactly.’
‘But that was months ago now. Look at me, I’m fine. What’s the big deal?’ Eleanor pushed her foot down hard on the accelerator and lurched the little Yaris forward.
‘Jesus, Eleanor. I’d rather be late than turn up in an ambulance. Slow down!’
‘Sorry. Sorry.’ She took a deep breath in and held it for a moment. As she exhaled, she felt some of the frustration drain out of her body.
‘We just care about you.’ Freya reached out and laid her hand gently on top of Eleanor’s.
‘I know.’ That sickly feeling of guilt crawled in the pit of her stomach.
‘I’ve texted Mum and told her we’re running late. She says it’s fine, no rush.’
‘Thank you.’ Eleanor smiled and didn’t even flinch when the light ahead turned red. ‘Frey?’ She swallowed the knot of fear that had tangled itself in her throat.
‘Uh-huh?’ Her sister was listening but had once again become absorbed in the vortex of her Instagram feed.
‘When Oliver left …’ Eleanor closed her eyes briefly, allowing the words to tumble out. ‘How bad was I?’
Her sister put her phone down and laid her head back on the headrest. ‘Pretty bad.’ Eleanor desperately wanted to reach for her but knew she needed to focus now more than ever on driving. ‘You disappeared for a while. It’s like you were here but not. Some days you’d sleep all day. You wouldn’t eat. I preferred it when you cried to be honest, at least I knew you were conscious.’
Jesus Christ.
