‘Thanks, Mum, I can do it.’ Eleanor moved her plate away ever so slightly.
‘Don’t be silly. Just because you’re not skeletal these days, doesn’t mean I’m not going to feed you up.’ Angela heaped spoonfuls of mashed potato on to her plate. ‘You should haveseenher at her worst, Fin. She was disappearing before my eyes. Terrible to see, absolutely shocking,’ her mother continued, as though Eleanor had in fact already disappeared. ‘I kept telling her, men don’t like bones! If she’s going to get herself back out there and dating, she needs to plump herself up again. Am I right?’
Fin forced a giant forkful of steak and kidney pie into his mouth. Eleanor knew he was trying to avoid any wrong moves. All he could do was nod in agreement.
‘See, Eleanor! I know you don’t like to believe me, but Fin agrees. Now have another helping, will you?’
Eleanor was about to protest when Fin opened his mouth and mumbled something inaudible.
‘What was that, dear?’ Angela asked. ‘I couldn’t hear you over the pie in your mouth.’
‘Sorry.’ Fin swallowed hard and cleared his throat. ‘I said … I think she looks great. As she is.’
Eleanor blushed with embarrassment.
‘Aren’t you a total sweetheart.’ Angela pinched Fin’scheeks. ‘But there’s no need to lie to make her feel better. Honesty is the best policy in these situations, I find.’
Eleanor stole a glance at Fin, whose cheeks were the colour of his hair.
‘I wasn’t lying,’ he mumbled under his breath, and Eleanor flashed him a grateful smile.
He’s sticking up for you.
Say something!
But Eleanor remained resolute in her silence, slowly making indents into the mountain of food on her plate. Everyone seemed to follow suit, speaking only to pass more dishes or refill glasses.
Angela cleared her throat ten minutes later. ‘Now, are we all done eating? You know I always like to say a few words on this day to remember your father.’ She lightly touched her fingertips to the photograph, wiping a smear of gravy from the frame.
Eleanor inhaled sharply and closed her eyes. She felt her sister’s body tighten next to her. She could hear Fin shuffling uncomfortably in his chair.
‘He was the love of my life,’ their mother declared, as though she were addressing the funeral party once again. ‘There was never a moment that I didn’t want to be near him, and he gave me the greatest gifts I could have hoped for … my two girls. Although he’s gone, I think of him every day. I miss him more than words could ever express, but Richard, we love you. We always have and we always will.’
The tears were silently snaking down Eleanor’s cheeks. Her throat felt so tight, it hurt to breathe. She didn’t dare look up. She didn’t want Fin to see her cry. In fact, she didn’t want anyone to see her cry.
‘Thanks, Mum,’ Freya mumbled, once again proving herself to be the stronger sister. ‘To Dad?’ She raised her glass in the air.
‘To Dad,’ they all chimed, Eleanor still fixing her gaze anywhere but on the people around her.
Angela stood up suddenly. ‘Right, who fancies dessert?’
‘I’ll sort it,’ Eleanor replied flatly, wiping her cheeks with her sleeves. ‘You’ve done enough, Mum.’
‘I’ll help,’ Fin volunteered, jumping up from his seat.
‘No, Fin, you’re our guest, sit down. Freya can help her sister,’ Angela insisted.
‘Honestly, please let me. It’s the least I can do.’ He was already over by the oven before Angela could say anything more. Eleanor had turned her back to him and was scraping the dirty plates into the bin. He shuffled over quietly. ‘Are you OK?’ he whispered.
She turned to face him, catching her puffy-eyed reflection in the oven door.
‘I’m fine.’ She replied, willing the tremor in her voice to steady itself.
‘Are you really?’ he asked again, his voice so soft and warm that for a moment Eleanor nearly forgot herself and burst into tears on his shoulder.
‘Thank you but honestly, I’m OK.’ She composed herself slightly. ‘Anyway, how areyou? I admire your courage for being here,’ she tried to joke.
‘I’m good.’ He grabbed the empty plates and began loading them into the dishwasher.
