‘OK. Anything else?’ He was now very intrigued as to who this woman was behind the door.
‘Yes, one last thing: sometimes she takes a bit of time to warm up to people. Don’t be offended if she’s rude to you.’ Before Fin had a chance to even think about her comment, Nurse Clara had opened the door and stepped inside the room. ‘Heidi, dear,’ she half shouted, ‘Fin is here to meet you.’
‘Bring him in,’ a cold voice summoned.
Fin took a step inside and noticed an older lady sittingbolt upright in her bed, her gaze unmoving from its fixed position out of the window.
‘Hello, Heidi.’ He waved, hoping his exaggerated actions would make up for his lack of volume.
‘No need to gesticulate at me like I’m deaf,’ she sniped.
‘Now, Heidi, Fin is the man who took the pictures of Rudi,’ Nurse Clara continued, ignoring the glare that Fin was giving her.
‘I can put two and two together, thank you, Nurse.’
‘Of course you can.’ Nurse Clara was already backing out of the room and into the corridor. ‘Fin, I’ll leave you to it.’ Before he could do anything to escape, she’d closed the door and disappeared.
‘Would you like to take a seat?’ Heidi still hadn’t bothered to look at Fin, who remained frozen and staring at the woman in front of him.
‘Well? Are you going to stand there for the entirety of our meeting, or will you do as I ask and sit?’ she snapped.
Fin hurriedly pulled out the chair next to the bed and sat. He thought it was best to do as she said and make as little sound as possible; he felt his presence alone was irritating her.
‘I saw what you did for Rudi,’ she stated bluntly, nodding to the view of the garden outside her window. ‘You looked like you knew what you were doing.’
‘Erm … thanks?’ he replied quietly.
Heidi turned to look at him for the first time since he entered the room. Her eyes were large and so dark they almost looked black. She had long, delicate features and, despite her age, Fin was struck instantly by her beauty. Her thick grey hair was twisted into a long plait that fell over her shoulder. But there was no warmth to her, not a trace ofkindness to be found anywhere in her expression. Nothing but wrinkled lines and severity.
‘I was giving you a compliment, boy. Did you not hear me?’
Fin felt like a school kid under the watchful glare of the headteacher. He cleared his throat and spoke louder and clearer. ‘I did. I said thank you.’
‘You see that woman?’ Heidi nodded ever so slightly to a picture standing proudly on her nightstand.
‘Yes,’ he said dutifully, knowing immediately who the girl with the crown and bouquet of flowers was. ‘How old were you when that was taken?’ he asked.
‘Seventeen,’ she replied mournfully. ‘I’m surprised you can even recognize it’s me.’
‘Your features are exactly the same. It’s uncanny.’
She seemed to stiffen at his response but didn’t utter a word. Fin thought it best to play safe and follow her lead, distracting himself by taking in his surroundings. Like Rudi’s room, all of the surfaces and most of the walls were covered with pictures and trinkets. However, unlike Rudi’s, these weren’t joyful family memorabilia but trophies and certificates and pageant pictures. This room felt bitter and sad, and Fin wasn’t sure how much longer he could stay sitting there.
‘I suppose you think me vain?’ She raised an eyebrow daringly, watching him as he scanned the room.
‘No. Not at all,’ he lied.
‘You may be a good photographer but you’re a bad liar.’ She flashed him the briefest hint of a smirk. ‘Do you know what it feels like to have something you love so dearly and then lose it?’
‘Yes …’ Fin mumbled awkwardly, Eleanor’s face appearing in his mind unexpectedly.
‘Do you know what it’s like to look like that,’ Heidi continued, not paying any attention to Fin or his answer. She nodded at the wall of her pictures. ‘To be that beautiful, with the world at your feet, and lose it all? To look at a photograph and not even recognize yourself in it?’
Fin knew his input wasn’t needed. He simply sat and observed as the formidable lady began to lose herself in thought.
‘Do you know how it feels to lose control of your body? A body that used to dance, and move and run and play? They say getting old is a gift. But for me it’s been nothing more than a hellishly slow path to losing everything I loved.’ She took a short sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes. Fin could see her long delicate hands gripping the bed covers tightly. ‘I want tofeellike me again. Just for one moment, Fin. I’d like to be beautiful again.’ A single tear escaped from beneath her dark lashes.
Fin didn’t dare move a muscle. He wished he had his camera with him now to capture this moment. This vulnerability. This beauty.
