‘Yes, yes, I’m fine.’ She paused. ‘It’s Rudi.’
‘No.’ Fin hung his head. The weight of the realization was too much to bear.
‘She’s gone, Fin. She passed away this morning.’
Fuck.
You were too fucking late.
‘Fin?’
‘Yes.’ His words were flat and curt but he didn’t care. He had been given one job and he’d already failed at it.
‘She left something for you here. We’re clearing her room today but I’ll keep it for you until you come tomorrow.’
‘She left something for me?’ Fin asked.
‘Yes. A note, I think. Rupert found it by her bedside.’
Fin checked the time. ‘Is Rupert still there?’
‘Yes. He’s here.’
He opened his laptop and began furiously pulling up the files.
‘Tell him to hang on for me, OK? I’ll be there in an hour.’
Fin didn’t even bother with goodbye. There wasn’t time for that right now. He grabbed another leftover biscuit and shoved it into his mouth.
We are not done yet, Rudi, my friend.
*
‘Ah, there you are.’ Nurse Clara stood up from behind the desk. Her eyes were red and slightly swollen behind her wire-rimmed glasses.
‘Sorry, it took me a while to get this printed.’ He held aloft a little leather-bound book.
‘Don’t worry, we’re just finishing packing up the room. Come.’ She nodded towards the door.
‘How are you doing?’ he asked quietly.
‘OK. Relieved that she went peacefully, if I’m honest. But this place won’t be the same without her.’ She sighed. ‘You know, it’s crazy how they quickly stop becoming patients. When someone passes, it’s a friend you’re losing.’ Her shoulders slumped slightly and Fin reached out to rest his hand on her arm. ‘But it’s part and parcel of the job.’ She straightened up quickly, leaving his hand hovering awkwardly in mid-air.
‘I’m sure it doesn’t make it any easier though.’
‘No.’ She turned to face him and smiled a worn-out smile. ‘No, it doesn’t.’ She took a deep breath and opened the door to her left. ‘Come on.’
Fin followed Nurse Clara into Rudi’s room, which was now stripped of all the personal items and splashes of joy that had previously hung from its walls. The bed was empty. The warmth had gone and Fin could feel the absence in the air.
‘Ah, hello, Fin.’ Rupert moved slowly towards him from his seat by the window. ‘I was taking one last look. It is such a beautiful view, isn’t it?’
Fin was surprised to see that his eyes were dry and his voice calm and controlled. Maybe after so much pain, seeing your loved one at peace brought comfort as well as heartache.
‘It really is.’ Fin held out the book he was still clutching in his hand. ‘I’m sorry I was too late to get this to her.’
‘You weren’t late at all.’ He nodded towards the bed. ‘Sit, please.’
Fin was confused but didn’t dare to question. He did as he was told and perched tentatively on the edge of the bed.
