‘I’m justsaying, I don’t know why you were being so weird about hanging out with him. He was fine. He’s even kind of cute, if you go for that red-haired English rose kind of vibe.’
Eleanor felt a rush of affection. Sal was a tough crowd to win over and the fact she was complimenting Fin made her feel oddly proud.
What is wrong with you?
Why do you care?
‘Yeah, he’s OK,’ Eleanor tried to reply casually.
‘Anyway, what are you wearing for the big date?’
‘Jeans and a top.’
‘Wow, don’t hold back on the details,’ Sal replied dryly.
‘I don’t know what else you want to know? Black skinny jeans and it’s some polo neck from Zara. And before you start,’ she warned, frantically coating her eyelashes in mascara, ‘yes, I’m wearing a polo neck because it’s absolutely miserable outside and I don’t want to get cold.’
‘I wasn’t going to say a thing.’
‘Uh-huh.’ Eleanor dusted her cheeks with some bronzer and stood back to admire her work.
That will have to do.
‘Are you looking forward to it?’ Sal asked, unable to mask her own excitement.
‘I’mscared,’ Eleanor admitted out loud.
‘I know, but he’s great and you’re great andtechnicallythis is date three, so you’re an old hand at it now! Where are you going?’
‘To a little Italian place I’ve never heard of in Soho.’ Eleanor grabbed her coat and hurried downstairs.
‘Italian. Interesting,’ Sal remarked.
‘How so?’
‘The Italians love their garlic. Not exactly setting you up for the perfect first kiss scenario, is it?’
‘Sal!’ Eleanor barked. ‘Look, I have to go, and don’t harass me for updates. I’ll fill you in tomorrow at work.’
‘Sure thing.’
‘Wish me luck!’ Eleanor begged.
‘You don’t need luck. See you tomorrow. Oh, and Eleanor?’
‘Yes?’
‘Bring some chewing gum with you. Just in case …’
‘Oi!’ Eleanor hung up immediately. She was only just managing to wrap her head around a second date, let alone the prospect of a first kiss. Her heart thrummed in her chest. Was she really ready for this? The anticipation … the fear … the worry! What if Ben was a bad kisser?
With a face like that, it would be criminal for him to be a bad kisser.
She hadn’t had a proper kiss in so long – what if she had forgotten how to do it? Towards the end of their relationship, Oliver had reduced his affections to dry pecks on the lips as a perfunctory and almost robotic hello and goodbye greeting. Gone were the days when hours would pass them by, making out in her bedroom, unable to keep their hands off each other.
What had changed? Sorrow pulled deeply at her heart.Whenhad it changed? In the days after Oliver had left, Eleanor spent hours reliving and recounting every memory of their time together, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that it shifted. She needed an answer. A piece of evidence to store away and direct people to whenever they asked what hadhappened. But the search had turned up nothing and Eleanor was still left in the dark.
‘No.’ She clenched her fists tightly. ‘You don’t get to do this today. You have a date with a gorgeous man who is probably an incredible kisser, andyou, Eleanor, are going to be fine.’ She stared at her reflection in the mirror one last time, and before she could give herself another moment to reconsider, she left the room and headed towards the front door.
