‘He’s still here?’
‘Yes!’ her mother exclaimed joyfully. ‘Wait … what do you mean he’sstillhere? Did you already know he was back in the country?’ Angela bristled with irritation.
Dammit.
‘Erm …’ Eleanor searched her scattered brain for any way out of this.
‘Eleanor?’ her mother pressed.
‘Imayhave seen him at Kate’s wedding,’ she admitted.
‘And you didn’t tell me?’ Her mum was aghast. ‘How could you!’
‘Sorry, it totally slipped my mind.’
‘Oh, sure,’ Angela quipped sarcastically.
‘It did.’
‘You weren’t rude to him, were you, Eleanor dear? I know what you can be like.’ Angela tutted.
‘Jesus, Mum, give me a break, will you? I’m not quite the monster you make me out to be, you know?’
‘All I’m saying is that heartbreak does terrible things to even the best of us.’
Eleanor’s heart twinged in acknowledgement. ‘Where did you see him?’
‘When I went to see Eileen. Things aren’t looking great so I assume the home must have called him.’
‘Oh, right.’ How could she have been so stupid? Obviously he hadn’t come back solely for Kate’s wedding. She hadn’t even asked about his mum. The shock of seeing him so unexpectedly at the wedding had thrown Eleanor completely.
‘Yes, it’s all very sad. I’ve invited him round for lunch tomorrow. Poor soul must need something to do other than visiting his sick mother in that care home. Is that OK with you, darling?’
Eleanor paused, biting back the urge to scream ‘no’ down the phone.
‘Erm …’ But guilt and surprise and cold terror about her imminent date were blurring her thoughts and making forming a response incredibly difficult.
‘Wonderful! I knew you wouldn’t mind. It will be lovely having you all back together again. I still don’t know why you let him disappear off around the world and out of your life. He was always such a lovely boy.’ She sighed nostalgically.
I didn’t let him disappear; he chose to go.
‘It wasn’t quite like th—’ Eleanor tried to explain.
‘Anyway, darling, I need to go, the shop practically crumbles without me there! I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Have a lovely rest of the day.’
‘Thanks, Mum, I’ll try,’ Eleanor replied, but her mother had hung up almost instantly. And although Eleanor’s brainwas buzzing, she didn’t have time to properly digest the conversation that had just occurred. There was something far more pressing she had to deal with. Her date.
I can’t do this. I cannot do this.
‘Yes, you can,’ she affirmed, looking up at the entrance to the coffee shop, as nerves flickered their tiny butterfly wings inside her stomach.
They’d agreed to meet somewhere central, halfway between them both. It was a cute little independent place that he, her date, had suggested. Why she found it so difficult to refer to him by his name escaped her – maybe it was a way to dehumanize him. Meeting ‘the date’ felt less real than meeting Ben Ryans, forty, from New Cross.
Eleanor spotted him the moment she walked into the cafe, nestled in the corner with two steaming mugs and two slices of cake. She breathed a small sigh of relief; Sal hadn’t been wrong and the photographs hadn’t lied. He was handsome. He looked clean.
Why would he not be clean?
She pulled self-consciously at the hem of her jumper and slowly made her way over to him.
