‘Isaid, if you’re not willing to help me die, then go.’
Sarah turned and ran. It seemed even watching her best friend leave in floods of tears did nothing but add more fuel to the fire inside her.
Maybe she was now a monster insideandout.
38
Alfie
The moment he’d heard Sarah running, he reached for his crutches and scrambled his way out of bed. There was no time for his prosthesis; he needed to catch up with her, and fast. Despite the adrenaline coursing through him, just keeping her in sight was a challenge as Sarah was a pretty quick mover. He needed to focus. With so many people milling about in the corridors, he knew one lapse of concentration could result in losing her.
He’d known there was a side to Alice that could cut people out and push them away. He’d been on the receiving end of her deathly silences before. But that? That was downright cruel.
‘Sarah!’ He had to resort to shouting after her; he was tiring slightly and the crowds in reception were making it difficult for him to keep up. ‘Sarah, stop!’
She turned her head briefly but carried on going.
Although she was short, her bright blonde hair marked her out in the crowd like a light bulb. He eventually spotted her at the very edge of the smoking area, bent over, head in her hands.
‘Christ, you’re fast.’
He rested his back against the wall and paused for a moment to recover. Now he was out here, he wasn’t quite sure what to say.
‘Are you OK?’
Suddenly, she jerked her face up to the sky and screamed so loudly everyone within a two-metre radius took a step back. How could such a small human make so much noise? Alfie had to admit he was a little impressed.
‘Sarah, it’s OK—’
‘She wants to die, Alfie. Did you hear her? She wants todie.’
Now she was collapsing into his arms. Her little frame heaved with sobs. Alfie pulled her close, holding her as tightly as he could. All he could hear were the muffled cries against his chest, repeating the same words over and over.
There was nothing Alfie could say. He’d heard it too, and to deny it would be insulting.
Soon her voice grew fainter and the sobbing slowed. Alfie could feel the tension leaving her body as her frame grew limp in his arms. Carefully, he tried to lower them both to the floor, cradling her as though she were a sleeping child.
You can do this, Alfie. Just lower down slowly.
Sweat started to run down his forehead. He was now stuck halfway, limbs bent awkwardly and shaking under the strain of Sarah’s weight.
Don’t drop her. Whatever you do, don’t drop her.
What with the running and supporting her body, Alfie’s leg was starting to cramp. He inched himself down a little further and was close to managing a graceful descent until, at the very last moment, his leg gave way and they both fell in a crumpled heap on the ground.
‘Shit, I’m so sorry, Sarah. Are you OK?’ His face burnedwith embarrassment as he reached for his crutches, which had spilled into the road. ‘I’m an idiot. I should never ha—’
‘Look, I know you want me to stay, Alfie, but don’t try and get me admitted to the ward as well, you sneaky bastard.’
God, what a relief it was to laugh again! Sarah shuffled herself over to sit beside Alfie.
‘Cigarette?’ She was holding out a half-empty packet of Marlboro Red.
Alfie smirked. ‘Aha! So this is why you insist on going out to get us food every hour. You’re using us to hide your dirty smoking habit.’
‘You bet! Your insatiable appetite is the best excuse ever.’
For a little while they simply sat there, side by side, in comfortable silence. Sarah chain-smoked her way through the rest of her pack of cigarettes while Alfie provided the perfect headrest.
