‘Yeah, maybe. I know everyone is saying he’s fine, but something feels off and I can’t seem to shake it.’
‘If he’s not fine, at least he’s in the best place.’
‘Yeah, I know.’
Logically, a hospital ward was the safest place to be, but Alfie still couldn’t quite convince himself that he didn’t need to worry.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Her voice was still a little tentative.
It was a strange feeling, being the one on the receiving end of the questions; nice, but strange.
‘Of course.’
‘Are you scared about leaving this place?’
Had she literally been inside his head?
‘Honestly?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m terrified.’
‘Do … do you know when you’re going?’ If he didn’t know better, he would say she almost sounded nervous.
‘No. Well … soon, apparently. It all rests on me being signed off by the physio team, and they’re quite happy with how I’m doing. Then it’s my final assessment. Maybe I should start being a little less awesome in my sessions from now on.’
‘I think everyone on the ward would appreciate that.’
Even you?he wanted to ask.
‘Not sure Mr Peterson would always agree with that, but maybe I’ll stay just to have the pleasure of annoying him some more.’
‘Do you think you’ll go back to what you were doing before?’
‘What, being the happy-go-lucky, loveable yet incredibly infuriating human being I was? I’m sure I can still manage that with one leg!’
‘Alfie.’
He forgot for a moment that she’d seen underneath his humour. He couldn’t easily laugh his way through conversations any more.
‘Sorry.’ He paused to think. What was he going to do when he got out of here? ‘I mean, I guess I assumed I would slot back into life before I left. My flat’s ready and waiting for my grand return, and I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life except teaching. I wouldn’twantto do anything else with my life. Those kids are the best and worst things about my every day. But is it possible to be a PE teacher with one leg? I really don’t know. I hope so.’
‘Aha.’ She chuckled. ‘You’re a teacher. That makes a lot of sense.’
‘I’m taking that as a compliment.’ He smiled, turning himself over to face the curtain.
‘Have you spoken to the school yet? Surely they can’t discriminate against you for having a disability. That would be illegal, and not to mention setting an awful example for the kids.’
He sensed an organized, practical Alice joining the conversation. Perhaps this was a small glimpse of the woman before the accident, a woman he imagined storming the office floors and taking absolutely zero prisoners.
‘All right,Mum.’ He’d had these thoughts over and over again, yet he still hadn’t actually done anything about it. Was he lazy? No. Was he terrified of hearing something he didn’t want to? Hell, yes.
‘Sorry, it’s just—’
‘It’s fine. I will speak to them. I know I’m avoiding it, but right now holding on to the hope I can still go back is helping me cope with the thought of leaving this place. Ideally I’d go back home, adjust a bit, and when I’ve dealt with not being fed and watered 24/7 then I’ll face it. If I think about doing everything all at once it becomes impossible.’
‘I can understand that.’ She sounded deep in thought.
