‘Who on this entire earth actually enjoys eating cornflakes? I get that they are a classic staple of the cereal population, but I’d like to meet one person who would actually choose them for breakfast.’
Alice, fully awake now, shifted in bed. Surely he wasn’t talking to her?
‘Out of all the sugar-coated carbohydrates you could select for breakfast, why would you pick cornflakes? I just don’t get it. Do you know what I mean, neighbour?’
Oh God, he’s talking to me …
‘Maybe we’ll be lucky and they’ll surprise us with Coco Pops tomorrow. God, I used to love those. The kids at school go wild for them. Actually, they go wild for anything smothered in chocolate.’
Please stop. For both our sakes, stop talking.
‘Look at me, talking at you without even introducing myself. I’m Alfie.’
Hi Alfie, guess what? I don’t care.
‘On behalf of everyone here, I’d just like to say welcome to the Moira Gladstone ward! We do hope you have a pleasantstay here. Just some admin before you settle in: to your right are the female washrooms and to your left are the male. Please don’t get them confused, otherwise you’ll probably experience a whole new level of trauma. Entertainment will vary throughout your stay, but you’ll see that as part of your deluxe room you have your very own television set. Unfortunately Sky isn’t included, but I find Channel 5 has a surprisingly good selection of documentaries in the afternoons.’
He just about paused for breath.
‘In all seriousness, we’re a bit of a mixed bunch here but we’re all just trying to get ourselves back on our feet. Or in my case, foot! I don’t know about you, but I find it so weird how quickly you get used to hospital life. How long have you been here in total now?’
Jesus, man, will you stop?
‘… Anyway, probably long enough to get used to people prodding and poking at your body every day. When I get out of here, I think I might actually miss it! Waking up won’t be the same without Nurse Angles giving me the once over, you know?’
She did not know. In fact, she was actually counting the seconds until no one had to touch her again.
And right now she was counting the seconds until he left her alone.
‘I don’t know how you do it. The not talking thing, I mean. It would drive mecrazy.’
The only thing driving me crazy right now is you …
‘Hey, neighbour, do you like puzzles?’
He wasn’t even pretending to wait for her response now. She rolled over and closed her eyes, praying harder than ever for sleep to come and drag her away.
‘I’ve always been obsessed with them. Never go anywherewithout a puzzle book, just in case, I don’t know, I find myself stuck on a long-term-sick hospital ward with every day full of nothing to do. It’s good to keep the brain active.’
She hoped that his brain would shortly become very much inactive. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. The silence seemed to be egging him on, as if she was challenging him to try harder. But despite the constant stream of words bombarding her, she remained stoic and mute.
‘Alfie, what the hell are you doing?’ One of the nurses’ voices interrupted his monologue.
‘Nothing. Just talking to myself.’ He didn’t even sound a tiny bit embarrassed to be caught out. Alice rolled her eyes and silently praised the nurse for her timing.
‘Sure … well … you have physio now, so I need you up and out of here.’
‘OK, I’m coming. Give me a second to put my leg on, will you?’
‘Of course. Darren is waiting for you in the normal spot.’ Alice heard the nurse’s footsteps fade away.
‘I’ll be back in a bit, neighbour. Don’t get too lonely without me,’ he called back as she heard the curtains close behind him.
Alice bathed in the glorious silence once more, allowing her thoughts to come and go as they pleased, an opportunity she was never really afforded in her old life. There was always something to do, somewhere to be and lists to be worked through. God, how she missed being busy. Now the only activity on her list was keeping an ear out for the sound of her neighbour’s returning footsteps.
A mere two hours later, she was greeted once again with the sound of him.
‘Christ, that was a tough one.’ He was trying to sound upbeat, but Alice could hear the weariness in his voice.
