‘There isn’t one at the moment, mate.’ Alfie picked at the red-raw hangnail on his thumb. ‘I’m not really bothered this year.’
‘What?!’
Alfie looked at Matty’s shocked face.
‘Comeon! Not that long ago you were in hospital, in a pitof despair. I’m sorry to remind you, but it’s true. Now look at you! Back in your own flat, single man walking again … we have to celebrate!’
Time was a weird and wonderful thing. How could a few months already have passed since the accident? It felt like only yesterday he was leaving the hospital, yet a lifetime since he woke up this morning. Every minute felt like wading through treacle. Doing anything other than sitting felt arduous. Had his life been switched to slow motion?
‘I don’t know, Matty.’ Alfie resumed picking the skin dutifully from his thumb.
The thought of doing anything more social than this made Alfie feel on edge. He’d spoken to enough people over the past month to last him many years, and he increasingly found the thought of social interaction unbearable. Even having Matty over was a strain at times. No. All he wanted was to sit in his flat in peace. Why couldn’t anyone respect that?
‘Don’t be boring, Alf. It will do you good to get everyone together!’
Matty was not letting this go. Alfie was well aware that there were some battles not worth fighting, and this was definitely going to be one of them. Maybe it was best to let go of any semblance of control and just go with it. He could always cancel last minute anyway.
‘Well, why don’t you organize it? I’ll go along with whatever.’ Surely there was only so much Matty could do in the next few days?
‘Leave it with me, my man, leave it with me!’
Looking at Matty rubbing his hands together with glee did not fill Alfie with much confidence.
‘Anyway, I’d better be off. I’m picking Mel up from the hairdressers, and if I’m late again I will be seriously in the shit.’
Alfie knew Mel was not a woman to cross and so wasn’t surprised by the pace at which Matty said his goodbyes.
‘See you later, mate,’ he called as the door slammed shut.
Alfie didn’t even bother to respond. He simply sat once again staring at the TV, letting the sounds and colours pass passively through his brain.
What is wrong with you?
He knew his behaviour was getting worse. Every day he felt his moods growing darker and those familiar old black clouds were back, hovering ominously in his mind, their presence threatening to consume him.
Get a grip.
Just as Alfie was about to try and distract himself with another round of puzzles, the doorbell went.
Of course Matty had forgotten something; he could be the most useless human at times.
‘Hold on, I’m coming.’
But as he got closer, he knew straight away that it wasn’t Matty. Funny how distinctive someone’s silhouette could be.
‘Hey, Alfie. It’s me, Tom.’
Tom? Who is Tom?
His mind was spinning, trying to place this name and voice.
‘From Heartlands High …’
Oh,thatTom.
Why on earth is he here?
‘Yeah, give me a second – this lock’s a bit funny.’ Biding his time, Alfie mustered his best ‘I’m doing fine’ smile before he opened the door.
