Are you sure about that one?
‘Thanks.’
‘Of course. I love you, Alfie.’
‘I love you too.’
64
Alice
Alice had been discharged from St Francis’s hospital a month after the bandages had come off. It had been a sobering moment when she’d packed up her things and walked out into the world completely alone.
‘Alice, baby, wait.’
Her head instinctively turned. She had to laugh as she watched Nurse Angles willing her curvy frame to move quickly through the crowds in reception.
‘You can’t go without giving me one last goodbye!’
How did she know?
Alice allowed herself to be taken into the nurse’s arms.
‘How did you even kn—’
‘You think I’d let them discharge you without telling me? What kind of woman do you take me for!’ she exclaimed.
Alice couldn’t stop herself from laughing. How wonderful it felt to be held like this again. Not quite the firm muscular frame of Sarah, but with the exact same warmth and care that made her heart soar.
‘Thank you for everything,’ she whispered into Nurse Angles’ soft shoulder.
‘Like I always say, baby, if you needanythingjust buzz me.’
She nodded, waiting for Nurse Angles to turn and go. Waiting to be left all alone once again. But the woman wasn’t moving.
‘Don’t you need to get back?’
‘Not just yet. I’ll stay and see you off.’
Alice knew there was no point in arguing. The tears came thick and fast as she started to walk away. She could feel the eyes of Nurse Angles watching her, even after she’d turned the corner and disappeared from sight.
Maybe Alfie was right. Maybe she really wasn’t alone any more.
‘Mummy, what’s wrong with her face?’
Alice looked down to see a pudgy little finger pointing straight at her. That hopeful thought had lasted all but two minutes.
‘Samuel. We don’t point at people. And we don’t say such things.’ Horrified, the mother to whom the pointing-fingered toddler belonged almost pushed Alice out of the way in her attempt to run off.
Get me home.
Please, just get me home now.
One silent and equally awkward Uber ride later, Alice was back. She’d kept her head low as she entered through the main door and, ignoring the kind hello from the receptionist, practically sprinted into the lift, jabbing the top-floor button as hard as she could. She couldn’t face any more questions today and she certainly couldn’t risk any more pointing. All she needed was to be in her flat, by herself, alone. As the lift carried her slowly upwards, she couldn’t help but think howstrange it felt to be back here. How could it be that on the surface everything looked exactly the same as it always did, yet on the inside everything felt different? Alicewasdifferent. It was hard to believe this was really her life.
She opened her front door for three seconds before slamming it shut again.
Holy shit, did I get the wrong flat?
