It was as if Miss Bennet had offered Darcy a mirror. When he looked in it, he saw himself as she saw him. Not the noble, forbearing gentleman he fancied himself to be, but a man so proud, so certain of his own consequence, that he had presumed gratitude would follow insult. Everything he had said, all the points he had enumerated, were centered on himself.
“You must be relieved that you are not going to be forced to marry her.”
Relieved? The question took him by surprise. He should have been relieved, but instead, here he was, reviewing his mistakes.
“Not yet. She may still change her mind after she gives it more consideration. I do not think she has fully understood why this marriage is necessary.”
“How could she not? Surely every young lady will do what she can to avoid a scandal?” said Georgiana, puzzled.
“My impression is that she was raised in the countryside and does not know how ruthless society in London can be. Falling into a lake in the countryside is an entirely different matter from walking in soaking clothes in the middle of Hyde Park.”
Georgiana hesitated. “Do you mind if I say something you may not like, William?”
His little sister intended to give him advice. Again. This day was full of the unexpected. “Please use this opportunity to point out the error of my ways.”
She looked stricken. “No, William. I would never do that.”
He knew his sister meant well. It was not fair to make her feel guilty. “I know you would not, Georgiana. You are the gentlest, kindest sister anyone could hope for.”
She blushed. “Now you are making it even more difficult for me to say anything.”
“If you must say it, do it quickly and spare me the pain.”
“I think you underestimate Miss Bennet when you say she is not aware of the scandal. It must have been very embarrassing to have everyone standing there gaping at her in the park. I am sure she noticed, even if her attention was mostly on her cousin rather than on herself.”
“True, but Miss Bennet struck me as someone who does not always adhere to the conventions. I do not know her well enough to be certain, of course, but that is my impression.”
“Well, then, you must try to understand her better.”
He shook his head. It was the devil of a dilemma. He would have liked to walk away feeling freed of any obligation, but he could not. Yet at the same time, he had to respect Miss Bennet’s wishes. She had turned him down, and her reasons were valid. He could not fault anything she said.
“It is unlikely Miss Bennet would be open to that possibility.” Too much had been said on both sides for it to be feasible.
Though it could all change, naturally, if he received a message from her. Darcy had given Miss Bennet until midnight to decide. The Gardiners might convince her it was the only course of action. Or she might come to that conclusion herself. It was not over yet.
Georgiana put her hand on his arm. “I am sorry, Brother. This is all very complicated, is it not?”
Perhaps it would all be resolved, and then he would not have to think about it again. “It is indeed very complicated. But for now, let us pay tribute to Moreau’s wonderful pastries, shall we?”
A few minutes later, Colonel Fitzwilliam was announced. Darcy had hoped to be spared his cousin’s questions until the next day, but it was not to be.
Darcy was forced to recount yet again the circumstances of his proposal, and the second telling brought home even more forcefully his clumsy ineptitude and conceit. By now his opinion of himself had taken such a blow, he could scarcely finish the story.
“I never imagined you could shoot yourself in the foot so completely, Darcy. It is almost as if youwantedher to turn downthe proposal. If that is the case, why bother to propose in the first place? Was it merely to ease your conscience?”
“Of course not!” protested Darcy, quickly. “I would never do such a thing.”
But even as he spoke, he wondered how much of it was true. Had he wanted to push her away?
“I thought she would leap at the opportunity…” His voice trailed off as he recognized how much such a statement revealed about his attitude towards her.
“She should have. It sounds like she is not very intelligent,” remarked Colonel Fitzwilliam.
How dare his cousin dismiss her like that!
“If you had been there, Fitzwilliam,” Darcy objected hotly, addressing his cousin the way he always did when he was angry, “you would not have said this. If only you had heard how calmly and rationally she responded. She came up with ten points.Ten!And she rattled them off as if she had pondered them for months, when we know she was not even expecting me to offer for her at all. She is one of the most brilliant young ladies I have met.”
The colonel’s brow quirked. “That is quite a defense from someone who was at the receiving end of those objections. I would have expected you to be ranting and raving at the slight.”
