Still, he could not see the forest for the trees. He was lost, because she could not possibly be saying what he thought she was saying.
Was sherefusinghim?
It seemed so unlikely, he had to stop and allow his mind to catch up. It must be the case. Why else would she give him a list of ten reasons? Still, it took some time for what she said to sink in.
Miss Bennet was rejecting his offer.
Somehow, he managed to keep up his end of the conversation, but he hardly knew what they were discussing. Then, when she offered him her hand to bid him farewell, the fog dissolved and it all became crystal clear.
One sentence summarized it. Miss Bennet did not want to be his wife.
Darcy bowed and left the room. He stepped outside the parlor where he had made his ill-advised marriage offer and closed the door, slowly and deliberately, struggling against a bewildering cascade of feelings.
He was dazed by the unexpected turn of events, but he drew himself to his full height and gave himself a moment to retrieve his composure.
Not a moment too soon. Footsteps approached. He supposed it was up to him to communicate the news to her aunt and uncle, who were undoubtedly expecting to offer their good wishes. It was embarrassing to disappoint them, but it was hardly his fault. His conscience had driven him to make the offer, and he had done what he needed to do.
He turned to face the Gardiners. Something in his expression must have given him away, because the bright smiles faded. Mrs. Gardiner looked dismayed.
“Am I to assume my niece has turned you down, Mr. Darcy?” she asked.
Darcy nodded.
“I am sorry to hear it,” she said, looking towards the closed door. “Perhaps I had better go in and speak to my niece.”
She opened the door and disappeared into the parlor, closing the door behind her. He would have liked to eavesdrop on the conversation, but he was left alone to face Mr. Gardiner, who was looking displeased.
“Well, this is unexpected,” said Mr. Gardiner, examining him shrewdly.
It certainly was. That much they could agree on.
“May I ask what transpired?”
“I believe your niece may be better qualified to give you an answer,” said Darcy. He squirmed under Mr. Gardiner’s gaze, feeling a troubling hint of guilt. She had explained her reasons very clearly, and he could not fault her for them. Why, then, was he reacting as if he had done something wrong?
“Well, Miss Bennet turned me down,” he added, stiffly. “There is nothing I can do about it. I did the honorable thing.”.
Mr. Gardiner regarded him severely. “If your proposal was as half-hearted as your attitude, Mr. Darcy, no wonder she turned you down.”
Darcy stared at Mr. Gardiner. Was he lecturing him? Not since his father was alive had he received such a dressing-down. He felt like a schoolboy being taken to task by a schoolmaster. Did no one in this family realize how much of a sacrifice he was making to rescue Miss Bennet from scandal?
“Well, sir,” said Darcy, tight-lipped. “I had thought Miss Bennet’s situation required immediate action. If I had known a polished speech was required, I would have taken my time to prepare one,” he remarked with a mixture of sarcasm, and vexation. “I see I was mistaken. Good day to you, sir.”
He bowed and departed hastily, before he said something unforgiveable. The butler handed Darcy his hat and sent a boy running to the mews for the carriage.
As he walked down the steps, he was still wrestling with the implications. Something inconceivable had happened. Of all the possibilities in the world, he would never have imagined this one.
He could still scarcely believe it. Miss Bennet had spurned him! Politely, and in a calm and logical manner, true, but the resultwas the same. It was a slap in the face, a kick in the teeth, and an affront to his dignity.
How could she have done such a thing?
He had the noblest intentions. His conduct throughout had been exemplary. He had, for her sake, chosen to overlook her unfortunate connections to trade. He had magnanimously disregarded her unsuitability to the position of presiding over Pemberley. She was facing complete ruin. He was here to rescue her, as he had rescued her cousin. He had graciously offered to overlook all these points against her. Was that not enough? What did she expect? A strong declaration of love? He could not pretend that he cared for her when he did not. He would not dissemble. It would be pitiful indeed to base their marriage on illusions and unrealistic expectations.
And then, to have accused him of arrogance! Did she have no idea of his position in society? Of a family history extending back centuries? In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he marveled at his forbearance. Most men of his consequence would barely have acknowledged the niece of a tradesman, much less proposed to her. His cousin Richard already thought of Darcy’s proposal as the ultimate folly. His uncle, Lord Matlock, would have expressed his outrage even more forcefully. As for his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, she would have called for her smelling salts and claimed that he was polluting the shades of Pemberley by even considering marriage to such upstart.
He felt angry and insulted. He had been unfairly treated, considering his generosity in overlooking the disadvantages of the match.
Darcyordered the coachman to drive in the opposite direction from his home. His thoughts were too jumbled for him to return to the watchful eyes of his valet, nor did he want to see his sister. He was in no mood to interact with anyone.
