He took a deep breath and stood up. He needed time to consider all this. “I will think about it.”
Richard took this as his cue to leave and stood up as well. He came and clapped Darcy on the shoulder. “You can think about it all you wish, but you know it is the only possible solution.”
Darcy had an unpleasant feeling his cousin was right.
In his bedroom, wrapped in the same silk banyan he had worn after he arrived soaked and shivering from Hyde Park, hesquatted and stoked the fire, trying to ward off the chill that was sinking into his very bones. He had sat here that day, while Miss Bennet slept by the fireplace.
He shut his eyes and let out a deep breath. Miss Bennet did not even know yet that her life was about to be ruined. The last time they had spoken, they had discussedembroidery.
How much of what had happened was his fault? Darcy had given the young horseman his name that morning when he had asked him to fetch the coachmen. Would they have spread the word if they did not know he was Mr. Darcy of Pemberley? Would they have done anything beyond ogling Miss Bennet in her wet clothes?
There was no way to answer, but the question weighed on him heavily. One could not live wondering how things could have been different, worrying about the ‘what if’ of the situation. He had tried to avoid mistakes. He was willing to walk home to prevent gossip. But surely sending her to his house in his carriage was just as bad as getting in himself.
Assuming, then, that itwashis fault, did it mean he had to marry Miss Bennet, considering the circumstances? There had been no impropriety. If a few young men with nothing better to do had decided to spread rumors, should he allow them to have the power over him to force his hand?
Your duty is to your family and Pemberley, not to Miss Nobody of Cheapside. Even if her father is a gentleman and owns an estate.
Darcy knew full well that Richard’s advice was sound. He could turn on his side and fall asleep with a clear conscience, dismissing the whole possibility. Heshouldbe asleep — content, even — for he had done all that was expected and more, and Miss Bennet was not his responsibility. The child was safe. How could anyone expect more of him?
What was she to him in any case? He had not even known her name until today. No impropriety had passed between them beyond wet skirts and speculation.
They had braved the cold water together, and that had created some kind of connection between them, but that was no reason to do something as irrevocable as marriage. His duty was clear. He was Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy of Pemberley. The Darcys did not marry into trade. They married into their own class. His role was to maintain the family’s wealth and build alliances with other powerful families of the same status.
And yet, here he was. While the rest of the house was slumbering peacefully, he was lying awake in the dark, the ticking of the clock drumming on his thoughts. He could not understand why taking the rational path left him feeling so troubled.
She is a tradesman's niece, Darcy. You need not concern yourself further."
What, in heaven’s name, was he supposed to do? Which path was the more honorable? Fulfilling his duty to Pemberley, or saving Miss Bennet?
Deep down, a part of him recognized that his unease was caused by more than a dilemma. At least some of his uncertainty had to do with a pair of dark eyes that refused to fade from his thoughts.
Then he remembered something. In their brief conversation, he had told her in so many words that he would come to her aid in the future if needed.I hope as a gentleman I will always come to the defence of a young lady.
By the time the sun peered past the curtains in his window, he had his answer. Heaven help him.
Chapter 10
Having made his decision, Darcy dressed without any fuss and left the house before he could encounter his sister. He did not wish to talk to anyone. Certainly, he did not want Georgiana to try to talk him out of this. For better or for worse, he had decided.
It was too early to call on the Gardiners, so he decided to make good use of his time. He went to his bank to conduct a few transactions, then he instructed his solicitor to prepare a marriage settlement. He moved with efficiency and determination. The sooner this business was over and done with, the better. There was no point dragging it on. In the afternoon, he would procure a special license, and it would all beover in a few days, before his family had the chance to descend on him to express their disapproval.
Having planned everything to his satisfaction, he made his way to Cheapside and to Mr. Gardiner’s elegant but lamentably situated house.
As he raised his hand to knock at the door, he hesitated. Not about whether he would propose or not, but about how to present the situation to the young lady. Darcy knew he would be facing tremendous opposition. Miss Bennet would not be well received by the Fitzwilliams or by any of Darcy’s peers. She would struggle to hold her own up in the face of their disapproval.
Luckily, she seemed plucky enough. Perhaps she might even survive an encounter with the dragon herself: Darcy’s maternal aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh.
Equally importantly, he could not allow their marriage to go to her head. He had seen it often enough in women who had married prominent husbands. They had been sweet, humble young ladies before they married. Afterwards, they had become so intoxicated by their newfound power and position that they treated everyone around them badly.
He could not allow that to happen. He would lay out his expectations of her clearly and succinctly. A sense of duty and honor had been instilled in him by his family. He would instill the same in her. He would make all very clear.
It was crucial to start well, to prevent any possible misunderstandings for the future.
He put his hand and knocked, three times.
“I wish to speak to Mr. Gardiner,” he said. “Is he at home?”
The butler nodded. “Luckly, you will just be able to catch him, Mr. Darcy. He was about to leave on some business, but he is still in the library, I believe. I will show you the way.”
