Unfortunately, he also knew with absolute certainty that the fate of the Kingdom depended on the Academy adapting and changing. How could they hope to compete with French mages when they were using many different types of magic unknown to the Academy?
He knew it was unreasonable, but he resented her training with Riquer. He knew it was essential, that it may one day save his life and the lives of many others, but he wished it was otherwise. He trusted Elizabeth completely, but what man would not be perturbed in such a situation?
He was not truly married. He was in a state of limbo, waiting for something to happen, for him to have a chance at happiness, but unable to do anything about it.
The Royal Mages were asking the impossible of him. They had forced him to marry Elizabeth, but deprived him of the ability to enjoy the marriage bed. It was like being in the Navy, crossing the ocean, deprived of women's company for months. Yet even sailors were allowed to go ashore when they stopped at ports of call, and were granted leave to return home when the voyage was over.
The fact was, he needed Elizabeth. He needed to live with her as her husband – to experience what it meant to be together. What was wrong with wanting to lead a normal life? To share a breakfast table. To ride across green meadows. To fish in the river on a warm summer's day. To sit alone with her on a snowy night, his head in her lap, warmed by the fireplace. To wake up with Elizabeth at his side, her body warming his, her dark curls fanned across the sheets.
He closed his eyes, blocking out that vision. He had to do something soon, or he would go mad.
He had always believed in sacrifice, in bowing to circumstances. But there was a time when he had to fight for what he loved. For the woman he loved. He could not continue to smother everything that was meaningful in his life in the name of duty. He wished there was a way to reconcile the two, but he had thought long and hard, and he had not found a way.
If he did not care for her, it would have been a different matter. It was an arranged marriage, but he had fallen deeply and utterly in love with his wife, and that was torment.
He could not bear it a moment more. Enough was enough.
Then suddenly, he had the solution. He knew what to do. It was time to take a stand. He would ask Elizabeth to leave the Academy and go with him to Pemberley.
As soon as the idea entered his head, he knew it was the solution to all their problems. He could not keep putting off hisdreams. It was very simple. He loved Elizabeth. She was his wife. They needed to be together.
Feeling as if a heavy burden had been lifted from his shoulders, he took off a run to find Elizabeth, full of determination and hope.
“I want us to leave Founder’s Hall and go to Pemberley.”
Elizabeth stared at Darcy, stunned. Had he taken leave of his senses? “That is impossible, Darcy, and you know it.”
“Why should it be impossible?" His voice was a harsh cry. "Even the lowliest foot soldier is entitled to go home on leave. Do we not deserve the same?”
It was all so sudden, she did not know quite how to react. Part of her was thrilled at the idea, another part was horrified. She had always considered Darcy a measured man who did not give in to impulse. If anything, he would always err on the side of caution. It almost felt like the gentleman standing in front of her was a stranger.
“Darcy, I dream every night of us finding peace and being together. I would love nothing more than to be alone with you at Pemberley, to enjoy—” she blushed “—our marital pleasures together, and perhaps find ourselves blessed with children.” Her skin tingled as his eyes darkened in response to her words. She swallowed hard. “I would love that more than anything.”
He stepped forward and grabbed her hands. “Then let us do it. It is within our reach,” he whispered. "This war will probably never end in our lifetime. It is like the Hundred Years War. The French and the English cannot seem to find peace. We cannot wait until we are old in the hope that we will be able to go home. Let us find our own peace."
She clung to his hands, tempted to throw all caution to the winds. She wanted this, with every fiber of her being. He was dangling a tantalizing dream in front of her, and she was one step away from taking it.
She wondered how he had come to this decision. Could it be that, as Mary and Emily had mentioned, he was jealous? Jealousy was a strong emotion. Much as she did not want to give credit to the possibility, it was the only explanation which could account for this inexplicable behavior.
It was not something to be taken lightly. He was acting on an impulse, but the consequences would last them a long time. She felt uneasy. They both needed time to consider whether this was the right course of action.
Someone had to be the voice of reason. It would be so easy to say yes, but she could not let herself be swept into this sweet insanity. She had to resist temptation.
"What about the Prince Regent's plan? I am the only one who can execute it."
She carefully avoided mentioning Riquer. This was about them – her and Darcy. She did not want to bring up the elephant in the room.
Darcy nodded. "I already have an idea. There are plenty of towers dotting the countryside from London to Derbyshire. I will hire the best officer engineers to choose and set up relay towers, and I will pay for the necessary officers to man them."
Even with the best engineers on earth, it would be impossible to set things up so quickly. Not only did they need to obtain the equipment, but men had to be trained to use the system. In time, it could be done. But Riquer would be leaving very soon, and she had to stay in touch.
Even if it could be done, there were other reasons to hesitate.
"What about the Academy?"
“The Academy existed before us, Elizabeth. It can exist after us."
It was hard to believe that Darcy was willing to brush everything aside like this. She suddenly began to tremble. All this, he would do for her!
