“What I felt for Amrit was a silly crush and it’s over—beenover.” I clasp Rudra’s cheeks. His pulse is racing; I can feel his blood pounding against my fingertips. I love that I can make him feel like this. “Because I likeyou, Rudra Desai.”
He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out, and he shuts it. I smile; let him be the blubbering mess for once.
“But you said... in the room... that you...”
“I said I wanted theplan to work out. Not my plan,ourplan. I wanted to make sure Priti was able to reunite with Nikita.” I drop my gaze to his lips, and my breath hitches. So does his. “I get why you might have believed it until our kiss, but even after that? How did you still think I had feelings for Amrit after everything that happened between us?”
Rudra brings his hand up and touches my cheek. This is nothing like his other touches. It’s so delicate it’s as if he’s afraid he’ll crack my skin if he applies even the slightest amount of pressure.
“Because I didn’t think you could ever feel the same way about me that I do about you.”
I hold his gaze with my unwavering one. “And how do you feel about me?”
“I’m in love with you, sunflower.”
I can’t breathe.
“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids,” Rudra whispers. “Since I’ve known Priti. It’s always been you. I never had the guts to say it because you’re leagues beyond me. You’re like—the sun. Untouchable. Blinding to look at. I’ve craved your warmth, for so long, and I knew that craving was all I could ever have. You would never notice me, never look in my direction, and I was okay with that. These past few days—they’ve felt like a dream.” He brings his other hand up so he’s cupping my face, just like I’m cupping his. Tears streak my cheeks,again, and he wipes them away as they fall. “I can’t believe I finally got to talk with you, be around you, touch you,kissyou. It felt surreal.”
“Why?” I say through my tears, my throat, mouth, and nose clogging with emotion. “What’s so special about me?” The question feels silly, and the moment it leaves my mouth I wish I hadn’t spoken at all, because it feels like I’m fishing.
“What’s so special about you?” Rudra repeats, as if he’s stunned I could ever ask him that question. “You’re kind, smart, beautiful, talented, and a little unhinged, but I love that about you. Every summer that I saw you, you were somehow always better than my memory of the year before, and I didn’t even know that could be possible.”
I burst into laughter and tears all at once, feeling like I’m floating in a dream. But his hands, while delicate, are so solid, and so firm, and soreal, and the clues and hints from my life are suddenly all there, and it doesn’t feel so unbelievable anymore. Especially not withthe way he’s looking at me right now.
Priti was right.
It’s a hundred—no, athousandtimes better hearing it from him.
“Then why didn’t you say something?” My whole body is trembling, and I’m so out of control I feel like my bones will disintegrate with how shaky I feel. “Why didn’t you ask me,once, how I felt about you?”
“Because it would’ve broken my heart to get so close to you, to be with you, only to have you choose Amrit. I wouldn’t have gotten in your way. Because I only want to see you happy. I never want”—he drops his hands, his voice breaking—“to be the one who takes your light away from you.”
I grab his hands, gripping them tight. My heart is full, blown up like a balloon. I could float away into the sky and never come back. But he grounds me, yet again, with just his presence, and what I want has never been clearer to me.
He gazes down at me, hope sprouting in his eyes like tiny wings. He’s halfway between giving in and letting go.
“Rudra,” I say, looking straight up at him. “The only one I care about ...” I lean into him until his nose is brushing mine, until the heat of his breath is on my skin, searing, until physically being away from him feels like it will kill me. “... is you.”
I kiss him.
I kiss him like he’s going to vanish off the face of the earth if I don’t, like he’s going to turn to dust if I don’t, like he’s going to melt into the leather, into the tarmac, into the sea far below the ground, and become one with it if I don’t. I kiss him without a shred of hesitation. I kiss him until my head spins and my knees are weak.
Rudra’s lips hiccup on mine as I pull away to catch my breath, body numb and mind wheeling, and his eyes are half lidded withpleasure. I’m floating two feet in the air.
Rudra’s eyes open, and as we gaze at each other, his face breaks into the most beautiful smile. Which makes me kiss him again, and again, and again, until I’m a wobbly mess. And he kisses me back with the same intensity, the same longing, his hands catching my waist, my hips...
Something buzzes in Rudra’s pocket.
We break our kiss in shock, and Rudra’s lips are swollen red from making out. I watch him, watch those lips, as he fumbles for his phone and frowns at the screen.
It’s Priti.
“Answer it,” I say breathlessly.
He does.
“If y’all are done fucking, do you want to grab some food?” Priti’s voice is loud and booming.
