Ohhhhhhhh
Goa, Monday
There are a few seconds of silence before Rudra and I collectively go, “Ohhhhhhhh.”
Just when I thought we couldn’t be closer to the truth, we find out that this whole time, it wasn’t the bride at all.
It was the bride’ssister.
Priti hesitates for a moment before speaking. “I met Nikita in Powai when I was doing my internship. She was staying with Amrit’s family during that period because she’s, well, his cousin. We broke up because I’djuststarted applying to FIT with you, Ruds, and there was no way we would’ve been able to sustain a long-distance relationship. Not when her life is here, in India.” She smiles sadly at me, shrugging. “And as you already know, I’m not exactly an expert when it comes to long-distance relationships.”
I shake my head, bewildered. “But, Priti, youlovedher. You stilldo. You came all the way to Goa just so you could see her again. It was different with us. We were kids. Young. I moved when I wasn’t fullymeyet. Things are always changing when we’re growing up. They don’t stick. And they’re rarely constant. But you and Nikita are adults. Why would you break up over the fear of a long-distance relationship?”
“Because you leaving affected me more than you know, Krish,” Priti says, and her eyes glitter with tears. “If there’s one thing I’m terrified of, it’s change. I’m not good at adjusting. Applying to American colleges was the most daunting decision I’ve ever made in my life. I couldn’t imagine going so far away from home at eighteen. I still don’t think I can.”
“I get why you didn’t tell me about Nikita when you wereina relationship with her. You didn’t want to set things in stone before you were sure about her. At least you told me you were dating someone.” Rudra’s voice quavers. “But why wouldn’t you let me be there for you when you were dealing with a heartbreak? We’re best friends.”
Priti’s face saddens. “Trust me, Ruds, I wanted to. I felt so alone that whole time, because I was going through a horrible heartbreak, but if I’d told youwhyNikita and I broke up, you would’ve said I could manage long-distance—and Ishould, for her—and that would’ve had me second-guessing everything.
“I didn’t want anything or anyone to affect my decision about going to FIT. I needed to see the applications through. It wasn’t about you at all. It was about me. I needed to keep some things to myself. I’m sorry if I hurt you in the process.”
Rudra’s shoulders seem to loosen, as if a tense cord holding them taut snaps. “Don’t apologize. I get it.”
“I’ll tell you this, though,” I say, and squeeze Priti’s hand. “Just becauseonelong-distance relationship didn’t work out for you doesn’tautomatically meanalllong-distance relationships are doomed.”
“But what if we get back together and it doesn’t end up working out?” Priti says, staring down at our linked hands, her voice cracking. “It’ll break my heart, and I can’t go through that again, Krish. Ican’t.”
“But would you rather spend the rest of your life regretting not having at least given it a try?” I say, tipping her chin up with my other hand and fiercely meeting her gaze. “You’re in love with her. You haven’t moved on, and it’s been almost a year. If you don’t take this chance right now, you could end up regretting it forever. There’s a reason you came on this trip with me. Because a part of you knows—”
“That I want to try,” Priti whispers, ducking her head, and a tear slips down her cheek. I’m not used to the sight of her crying, but I know she needs to let it out. This road trip has been way too overwhelming for all of us. It’s sapped our energy and brought out the absolute worst in us.
“Exactly.”
“I want to,” she says, her voice small. “But I’m so scared she won’t want me anymore.”
“Trust me, we know.”
Priti looks up at me, then Rudra, her eyes shining. She’s so earnest; my heart goes out to her. “Do you really think I should go find Nikita and talk to her right now?”
“Yes!” I say.
“One hundred percent,” Rudra says firmly.
Priti swipes at the tear, a small laugh breaking out of her. “I can’t believe you guys were actually going to wreck this wedding for me.”
“Trust me, we were legit this close to seeing it through.” I raise my hand and bring my pointer finger and thumb really close together, not letting them touch. “I don’t know about Rudra, but I wasscared.”
Priti crows with laughter again, and it’s full of life, swelling with happiness. “You mean you would’ve actually emptied that buffet table and let me climb on top to profess my love?”
“We would’ve carried you on our shoulders and paraded you around so you could tell everyone how much you love the bride and how this wedding needs to end,” Rudra says, grinning.
“Like in the movies,” I say. “?? ???? ???? ?? ????!”*
“And you would’ve braved the fury of five hundred guests?” Priti says. “Aunties and uncles? The security at the hotel?”
“Yes, yes, and yes.” Rudra gets into the passenger seat and wraps an arm around Priti. I watch, heart pinching in my chest as she sinks into his hold and he pecks her on the forehead. And that hankering, that utter, gutting longing for what they have, the sort of friendship and care Priti and I had once, nearly knocks the breath out of me. I step away, feeling like I’m privy to something I shouldn’tbe ...
When Priti tightens her grip on my hand and pulls me into a side hug. The three of us huddle close, giggling, arms wrapped around each other. I can’t put into words how athomeI feel with them. I’ve never ever felt more like I’ve belonged.
