She turns her head to look at him. “Hi.” Her voice is small and wounded, and I fucking hate it.
“Can I get some tests done while I’m here?”
“Of course, Miss Anders. Kruger explained the situation. I’ll get a nurse in to take your blood and order a full panel screening.”
“Kruger, too. I didn’t know. I would never have put you in danger if I knew?—”
I cut her off with a peck on the lips. “None of this is your fault. I’ll get tested too.”
She takes a relieved breath before looking at the doctor again. “After I lost my babies, the doctors said there was nothing I could have done differently, that it was an act of God. But what if it wasn’t an act of God? What if it were the act of a monster? I’d stopped dreaming of having kids because I can’t keep losing them. Only I wasn’t losing them, doc. They were being stolen from me.”
She breaks down sobbing. I climb up onto the bed beside her and pull her into my arms, holding her tightly to me, wishing I could take this pain for her.
“Miss Anders?—”
“Delphi.” She hiccups, pulling away just enough so she can look over at the doctor. “Call me Delphi.”
“Alright, Delphi. The answer to your question is no. As a general rule, that type of medication will not affect you gettingpregnant in the future. I’m so very, very sorry that this happened to you.”
She nods rapidly. “Me too. I feel so stupid. I should have been able to tell, right? Like I should have known in myself that something wasn’t right.”
“Why? Yes, you might have felt something the next morning, but it could have easily been put off as something else—premenstrual cramps, food allergies and intolerances, diet, stress, even your migraines.”
“Yeah, that’s…that’s exactly it. It wasn’t every morning. I’d have known. Well, not known…who would ever think their loving husband was drugging them and having them raped? God, I’m going to be sick.”
The doctor hurries over with one of those weird kidney bean-shaped plastic bowls and holds it under her mouth as she starts puking. I murmur soothing words to her and pull her hair away from her face until she mumbles that she’s done.
“If it were daily,” she resumes, her hand shaking in mine, “I’d have gone to my doctor complaining that things didn’t feel right. But it wasn’t every day. It wasn’t even every week. It was sporadic and easily explained away. He was clever, and I was dumb. So fucking dumb.”
“No. He was a predator. They don’t think like us regular folks. They manipulate and twist everything, so you don’t question anything. They make you think you’re the problem and that you’re imagining things. I’m sure he gaslit you a lot, likely subtle enough that you didn’t notice at the time. But perhaps looking back, without the blinders of love?”
She nods slowly before looking at me. “I don’t know how many men I’ve slept with.”
“Two. You chose to sleep with two men. The rest don’t matter. You didn’t give them anything. They took it—without consent. They don’t fucking count.”
“But they do because I feel dirty and used.”
“No. You don’t see what I see, chestnut. You shine so bright, it’s like a beacon. Hell, sometimes it hurts my eyes just to look at you. I feel like the luckiest man on the planet just to sit next to you.”
“He’s right, Delphi. Imagine a young girl walking in right now with your story. What would you say to her? Would you tell her it was her own fault? That she was to blame somehow?”
“No, of course not.” She sighs, getting what the doctor is saying.
“I’ll get the nurse to draw blood on both of you.”
“Do I have to stay, or can I go home?”
“You get a little more rest, and I’ll send you home as long as you take it easy.”
“I will.”
“I’ll make sure she does,” I answer at the same time.
“Alright. Rest and then I’ll sign the discharge papers.” He leaves so she can’t argue with him.
My arms tighten around her as I pull her against my chest once more. “Rest. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Promise?”
