I sit in one of his chairs and sigh, feeling tired to my fucking bones. “You might be right.”
“Can I get that in writing?”
“You want me to fire you?”
“Nice try, but we both know this place would fall into ruins without me.” He laughs, grabbing a Coke from the mini fridge and handing it to me.
“Aint that the truth.”
“Tell me what you need from me.”
“Just what you’ve been doing. I can’t keep spreading myself thin. Now that she?—”
I snap my mouth shut when he leans back in the chair and gives me a knowing smile.
“She, huh? And it all makes sense.”
“It ain’t like that.”
“You’re a shit liar, Kruger.”
“Alright, it ain’t like that for her.”
He steeples his fingers, his eyes moving over my face.
I shake my head. “No, it has fuck-all to do with my scars and everything to do with my winning personality.”
He grins then. “Can’t say I blame her then. Though I hope she knows what she’s got herself into. I’ve never known you to back down from anything.”
“This is different. I fucked up. Fucked up so bad I don’t know if there is any coming back from it.”
He stares at me in that way that makes me feel like he sees more than he lets on. “Then let her go.”
“Just like that?”
“If you already have one foot out the door, why hurt her more? You can’t half-ass it, Kruger.”
“It’s not that simple. Fuck me, I wish it were. She hates me.”
“It warranted?”
I press my lips together. “Yeah.”
He rubs his jaw. “See all sorts doing this job. Including the guy that fucked up so bad his woman leaves him. Then he keeps fucking up by not leaving her alone. At some point, it becomes more about him than her. If this woman wants no part of this, you have to walk away. You’ve seen how this plays out.”
“That’s just fucking it, I’m so damn tired of walking away. I’ve been the good guy, the bad guy, and everything in between. You know what I haven’t been? Her guy. The one she comes home to, the one she runs to when shit goes bad.”
“I understand that. I just don’t want you to be the guy she runs from.”
There’s a warning in his tone. I get it. He’s right. We see this shit all the time. Men who fuck up so badly, but they can’t get their heads around the fact that their women won’t forgive them. Ironic, given the stats say men in the same situation are far less likely to forgive than women are.
“I walked away so many times. I don’t have it in me to do it again.”
“Then you need to give her a reason she should believe that this time you’ll stay.”
I have no idea how the fuck to do that. I might have been in love with Del for years, but she never had eyes for anyone but Snake. I grit my teeth thinking about the man I thought was my friend. Even after all this time, the betrayal runs deep. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in Del’s shoes.
“I’ve gotta go. Text me if you run into any issues.”
