“You wouldn’t have to. He’s going to see it every time you flinch at the mention of the club, or insist he go alone.”
“I can’t help how I feel, Havoc.”
“No, you can’t. But maybe give us another shot. You’re not the only one who’s changed in the last few years.” He pulls back and winks at me before closing the door.
He moves over to Kruger, and they both talk about something. I lean my head on the window and think it over. I can’t lie, the thought of going back to the clubhouse makes me break out into a cold sweat. But will I ever get past it if I don’t at least try to face the demons from my past? Even taking Kruger out of it, my best friend is tied to the Ravens. Do I want to miss out on birthday parties and family gatherings because I’m scared?
Of course, the answer is no. But knowing it doesn’t give me a random bolt of courage. All the bad shit is tied up together, so much so that it’s hard to pick the parts I want to untangle without getting trapped in the rest of it.
When they both climb in, Kruger turns to look at me, giving me the once-over. “You haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. We can pick breakfast up on the way home if you tell me what you want.”
“I’m not picky. Though I wouldn’t say no to an iced coffee.”
“Doc said to be careful of caffeine for now,” he reminds me.
“Decaf is fine.” I sigh. His lips twitch, but he turns and straps himself in as Havoc pulls away. I do what I do best lately and drift off to sleep, waking up only when the truck door opens.
Kruger looks at me, amused.
“You sure I don’t have narcolepsy instead of epilepsy?”
He chuckles and helps me out. The second my feet touch the ground, I’m scooped up in his arms, and I’m carried upstairs. I look around for Havoc and see him following behind with the bag of food in his hand. He follows us in and waits for Kruger to lower me to the sofa before handing me an iced coffee.
“You fell asleep before I could ask you which kind, so I went with caramel.”
“Can’t go wrong with caramel,” I agree, taking a sip and groaning. “It’s good.”
“Well, my work here is done. Enjoy your breakfast. I’m going to head back and take my old lady some food too because when she’s in the zone, she forgets to eat altogether.”
“Thanks for picking me up.”
“My pleasure. Think of what I said.”
“I will,” I tell him. Knowing my brain, I won’t be able to think of much else.
“Kruger, see you at church on Wednesday. I’ll have someone sent over to keep Delphi company.”
“Not Pig.”
Havoc nods before leaving.
“You have a prospect called Pig?”
“What did Havoc want you to think about?” We both speak at the same time.
“Nothing for you to worry about.” I sigh.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. If he said something to upset you, then president or not, I?—”
“He didn’t upset me, I promise. He actually invited me to the clubhouse in a couple of weeks because Lola is coming to visit. I said I wasn’t sure I could handle it. He said I wasn’t the only one to change over the last few years, and to think about it.”
Kruger sighs, sitting beside me as he unbags the food. “If you don’t want to go, then we won’t go. It’s as simple as that.”
“We?”
“Not leaving you by yourself.”
“I can call someone else to come sit with me.”
