“Are you calling me a liar, bitch?” Blade snarls at me.
I freeze, fear washing over me as I finally realize the precarious situation I’m in. I’m not dealing with my family now. I don’t know who these people are, but any sense of safety I felt with them was washed away the second Blade wrapped his hand around my throat, and the others just watched him do it.
“Do you know what he did to Lil?” I turn to look at Midas, whose face is blank. “He was going to rape the old ladies. Thekids were right there watching, so Lil stepped in and took it for them.” He bends down as I feel all the color bleed from my face.
“And before you tell me you can’t rape a whore, I assure you, you fucking can. Your husband was a sick fuck. Makes me wonder just what you two got up to behind closed doors. I can’t even look at you. You make me sick.” He spits at me, hitting my cheek before he turns and walks away.
I barely feel it as numbness engulfs my body. My mind spins through the thousand happy memories I made with Lee, denial bubbling up in my throat with vomit. But when I look up, I see Lil, standing off to the left, her arms wrapped around herself, her eyes haunted. And I know. I know it’s true. I lean forward and throw up, heaving until I have nothing left.
“Get her the fuck out of here,” Blade orders a moment before I feel someone grab my arm.
I don’t put up a fight. I have nothing left to give.
“Oh, and Del?” I turn my head slowly to look at Blade, who is now twirling a knife through his fingers. “Get the fuck out of my town and don’t come back. There is nothing here for you anymore. I catch you back here, I’ll bury you right beside your old man.”
I don’t know if I answer. I don’t know if I nod. Hell, I’m only vaguely aware that I’m being dragged out of the clubhouse. I’m shoved into the passenger seat of the truck, and I don’t do anything but stare at the tattered knees of my jeans.
“He told you.” Kruger’s voice rings out in the silence of the cab.
I assume he’s talking about Blade telling me to get out, so I nod aimlessly, jumping when he punches the steering wheel.
“You should have fucking come to me. You should have fucking said something, anything. Goddamn you, Del.”
I shrink in on myself, not sure what I was supposed to say, feeling like I’m missing huge chunks of information. But all I canthink about is my husband. My dead husband. I nod and agree to whatever he says, needing to get as far from him as possible so I can break down alone.
I zone out for the entire ride. I have no idea if he questioned me or if I answered. I’m so fucking out of it that when the truck stops, I don’t notice until Kruger shakes me.
I jolt and scramble back, hitting my head on the window. The look he gives me makes my blood feel like ice.
He jumps out of the truck before yanking me out and letting me go. I stumble but catch myself before I fall. I look around and realize I’m not at home. I’m…I have no idea where I am. I turn around to tell Kruger to take me home, but he’s already back in the truck.
“I need?—”
“To get out of town. Blade ain’t joking. If he or any of the rest of us sees you, we’ll kill you ourselves. We’re giving you one shot to leave, and fuck me, that’s more than you deserve. I hope you think about this, about Lil and the Ravens who thought of you as family. I hope this eats at you until it drives you insane. You disgust me.” He gives me a look filled with such venom, I suck in a sharp breath. Before I can collect myself, he’s gone, driving away, leaving behind nothing but a cloud of dust and the fractured shards of my life.
I was aware enough to know I was in shock, but I felt disconnected from everything as my brain tried to protect me from what was happening.
I have no phone, no purse, no car. I look around, but all I can see is the road. With nothing else to do, I start walking. I need to get as far away from here as possible, but I can’t do that without money or some way to contact my family.
And so I walk and I keep walking, even when my legs threaten to give out. The night turns frigid, and the tank top I’mwearing does nothing to protect me from the elements. At this point, I’m shaking so hard, I can barely stand.
Seeing the bridge that connects Raven’s Wood to Bleak Bend, I stumble toward it just as the first flutters of snow begin to fall. I’d laugh at the irony if I weren’t so fucked-up in the head right now. We haven’t seen snow in Raven’s Fall for a decade. And now, here it is on one of the worst nights of my life, ready to finish me off.
When I slip down the embankment and huddle underneath the bridge for shelter, it takes me far too long to realize I’m not alone. But if he were a threat to me, I’d be dead before I realized I was in danger,
That thought makes me laugh. I could be in no more danger if I tried. Even the weather is trying to kill me. Eventually, the manic laughter turns to sobs as I tuck my knees to my chest and bury my head against them.
I jolt when I feel something touch me. I try to scramble back but I’m pinned in by the bridge. When I look up, a figure retreats to the other side of the bridge. I let out a shaky breath and realize that what I felt touch me was a thick sleeping bag, the kind I imagine is used for camping in freezing temperatures.
I look over at the man, but he has disappeared beneath another blanket. I tug the sleeping bag tightly around me, ignoring the odor coming from it, and whisper a thank you. Though he doesn’t reply, I somehow know he heard me.
How I sleep, I don’t know. The horror of the day shuts my brain down, knowing I can’t cope with anything else, allowing me to sleep fitfully until the sun rises.
Thankfully, the snow never became more than a flurry, but knowing how close I came to hypothermia, I decide not to waste any time. I get to my feet, which scream in protest, and hobble over to the sleeping man. I gently lay the blanket over him before I start my journey home.
The inhabited part of town may be small, but the town itself is a vast area of barren land that takes me days to walk across.
I catch a couple of hours of sleep when the sun rises and walk under the cover of darkness for the most part. By day three, my head is pounding from dehydration, my stomach is cramping with hunger, and my sneakers are filled with the blood of popped blisters and torn skin.
