“Night, kid.”
I head up to bed and crawl in beside the woman I love. Unbeknownst to us, prospects surround the house like a security blanket, keeping her safe while she sleeps.
Chapter Twenty-Five
DELPHI
I existedfor the next couple of months in a disconnected fog, going through the motions as my brain tried to shield me from everything. Thankfully, both my and Kruger’s test results came back clear, so I didn’t have to worry about that on top of everything.
It wasn’t so bad. I kept myself busy to the point of exhaustion. I spent my days preparing the shop for opening, spending time with Legs, and loving on Hero. Once that was done, I returned to the house we’d moved into last month and continued to find ways to make it feel like a home. It was beyond important to me that it be a sanctuary of sorts for Kruger, Theo, and me, but particularly for Theo. Having him here heals a tiny part of me each day, and I get to see him bloom under my love and Kruger’s pride.
The nights are what were killing me. Not even reading Kruger’s letters helped. The shadows taunted me with secrets I didn’t want to know. Every memory haunted me, every conversation, every decision I made that helped a predator keepits prey caged. My love for him was the key that allowed him to lock me away, and I was utterly blind to it.
I’d started going back to therapy, seeing a new therapist after my old one had moved. It was hard to connect with her. She seemed to want to focus on my childhood and my parents. Though I know there is a reason they do this, I felt I was covering old ground, digging around unnecessarily in places that had already healed with the passage of time.
I never spoke of what was said at the clubhouse that day. People had, for the most part, not mentioned it, but I could see the worry in their eyes. This brave front I was putting on was fooling no one, but I couldn’t break. Not now. If I gave in and let myself really feel the pain, I’d never recover.
People walked on eggshells around me, careful not to trip on anything that might trigger me, making it impossible for me to move on.
And so I kept mentally running, feeling the icy hands of the past claw at me, wanting to drag me under and consume me whenever I tried to slow down. The past was always hanging over me, and it was beginning to fray the picture I had in my head for the future.
I was stuck in this twisted limbo, too afraid to turn around and face my demons, but too exhausted to hold on much longer without breaking.
“Earth to Delphi?”
I jolt at the sound of Circus’s voice and paste on a smile as I turn to face him. “Sorry, I was miles away. You guys done for the day?”
Circus leans on the counter and looks me over. “Yeah. Capone is just loading up the truck. You want to come back to the clubhouse with us for a bit? You said Kruger was at work until late, right?”
I’d forced Kruger to go back to work. One, because it was important to him, but also because his hovering was suffocating me. He relented when he realized I was rarely alone. That, and I promised to wear the new cuff he’d bought for me, which doubled as a medical ID bracelet.
“He is, yeah. But Theo is meeting me here and we’re going over to the diner to eat.”
“Fair enough. You want me to wait until he gets here?”
I look at my watch and shake my head. “He’ll be here any minute.”
He taps the counter. “Alright, but tomorrow is Friday. You’re coming out with me and Capone for beer and burgers.”
“I can’t drink anymore,” I remind him. Not that I ever really did before.
“You can have a nonalcoholic beer or a Coke.”
I’m about to make my excuses, but he wraps his arm around me. I hold myself stiff for a minute, eventually soften toward him, and let myself hug him back.
“Don’t say no.”
“Oh, alright. But I want to play pool too. It’s been a while since I kicked your asses.”
“Deal.” He gives me another quick squeeze before pulling back. He looks around the room with a look of pride. “It’s really starting to look good in here.”
“You guys are doing an amazing job.”
And it was true, they were. The room had been stripped of everything, and an opening had been cut in the wall that separated the main room from the one Midas had used for storage. Swing doors that resemble shutters usher you through that opening, into the kitchen area with sleek new appliances. I’d toyed with removing a larger chunk of the wall so the kitchen area was visible to the customers, but decided against it. Watching food being prepped wasn’t what would draw peoplehere, and it ruined the whole ambiance I was going for. The office in the back remains, but it has been given a makeover, as has the restroom, which would now be available for public use. The primary focus, though is the high counter with a cash register sits to the far left of the room. Behind that is a top-of-the-line coffee machine that would serve a huge variety of coffees, along with every syrup and creamer known to man. Comfortable sofas and oversized armchairs were scattered around the room, perfect for curling up and reading a book. There were tables and chairs with a shabby chic finish, a few shades lighter than the oak flooring. The bookcases that lined the outside of the room were made of the same wood and showcased what the shop had to offer. They were only partly filled right now, but I was expecting more deliveries over the next few days. There was a large ornate fireplace that would be perfect for the winter months, drawing people in when the nights turned cooler.
If I close my eyes, I can see the place alive and filled with people, sipping coffee and curled up, with warm lamps and soft music adding to the ambiance.
“I’ve lost you again, haven’t I?”
