“Oh, yes, I do. I looked those guys up on the internet. They have… what are they called?” She snaps her fingers a couple of times. “Chapters. They have chapters back east, and those guys have been arrested for all kinds of things.”
“But Blue is always nice to me.”
“Until he’s not. You better be careful.”
The waitress brings our food, and we shut up until she leaves.
Once she’s gone, Carmen leans forward and hisses, “So? Where did he take you?”
“We walked for a while, then he stopped in front of this house and gestured to it. That’s when he told me he rented it.”
Carmen shakes the ketchup bottle. “And?” Then her eyes widen. “Tell me you didn’t go inside?”
I nod, and she slams the plastic bottle down on the table, rattling the dishes. We both glance around, and I don’t say another word until people who glance over go back to eating and ignoring us.
Carmen and I stare at each other. Finally, she mouths thewords,did you have sex?
“Yes,” I whisper. “And it wasn’t the first time.”
“What?” She emits in a high-pitched squeak.
I tell her about the clubhouse and the pool house, and the entire time she stares at me like I’ve grown two heads. When I finish telling her about what happened yesterday, she’s quiet and staring at her plate.
My heart is pounding. “Say something.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Carmen, you’re my best friend in the whole world.”
“Right now, it’s like I don’t even know you.”
Suddenly there’s a knot in my throat. I didn’t expect this reaction. I feel like I’m about to cry. “Carmen, please. Don’t be like this.” My voice is shaky and soft.
“This is all my fault. I told you if you really wanted more than the life your family arranged for you, you were going to have to be brave and rebel.” She swallows. “Then I told you to dance with someone at your sister’s wedding.”
“Carmen, you didn’t send Blue to ask me to dance. He did that all on his own.”
“But I told him you’d love to and shoved you forward.”
“I remember. But I did all the rest on my own.”
“You were always brave in high school, but I never thought you’d have the guts to walk into his clubhouse.”
“I surprised myself on that one.”
“What if something had happened to you? A little rebellion is one thing, but that was dangerous.”
“Blue would never hurt me.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do. The way he looks at me. The way he touches me.” I shrug. “I just know.”
“Did he tell you he loves you?”
“Of course not. We’ve only just met.”
“Are you in love with him?” She’s completely serious.
