Carmen and I aren’t the only ones stopping and staring when the Saint’s Outlaws ride past. Two stores down, I see Ramona and Marcela staring.
They spot us and hurry over.
“I didn’t know you two were shopping today,” Marcela says with a bright smile.
I’m still staring after Blue when Carmen answers her. “I needed a new bra.”
“Ramona needed a new book to read.” Marcela holds up a bag. “We bought the store out of every new romance they had.”
“We’re going to the diner to get a shake. Do you want to join us?” Carmen asks.
“Hey,” Ramona says to me, waving her hand in front of my face. “Snap out of it.” Then she follows my eyes. “Don’t waste your time dreaming about him. You know you can’t have him. You’re promised to Mateo.”
“I don’t need you to remind me, Ramona,” I snap, all the joy of the day now sucked out at the mention of my future.
I feel so trapped, and now that I’ve turned eighteen and the summer is almost over, my dread and anxiety have only grown.
I’ve always been a good girl and a dutiful daughter.
I never miss Mass.
I say the rosary.
I go to confession.
But none of it makes me want Blue any less.
I know I can’t have him. Not really. But somehow, I can’t let go of the idea of him.
I’ve been warned off men like him my whole life.
Blue is wild and sexy and an outlaw biker.
He’s the definition of dangerous. He lives on the edge.
He’s not at all the kind of man I’m supposed to want.
But I do.
I want him desperately.
We walk down to the diner and slide into a booth by the front window. The girls are busy chatting and scanning the menu, even though we all said we were getting shakes.
I pull out my phone and tap out a quick text to Blue. I know he won’t answer. He never does, but he hasn’t blocked me, so I know he’s reading my texts. Somehow it makes me feel connected to him. I don’t beg him to meet me anymore. Now, I just tell him about my day. It’s almost like I’m writing a soldier overseas.
ME: I saw you ride past, and I saw you look over at me. I’d just been in the lingerie store. I saw a nightgown in the same shade as my bridesmaid dress, and all I could think of was…I wonder if Blue would like this. I know you would never see me in it, so I didn’t buy it. But if I thought there was a chance…
ME: I don’t usually say or think things like that. Do you see what you’ve done to me? I’ve become a different person. I’m a stranger to myself. I think about you all the time. Do you miss me, Blue?
“Luisa, what are you doing?” Ramona asks, and I send the text and shove my phone in my bag.
“Nothing,” I say, and I’m glad when the waitress comes over to take our order.
CHAPTER THREE
One month ago
Blue—
