“Okay, Fern, so every time a publishing scandal breaks, people look for someone to place blame on. That’s just human nature. In this case, the easiest target is you, because you are a primary player in this mess. It’s nonsensical, because if the tables were turned and you had been the one to—I’m sorry for being insensitive—commit suicide, then Haven would have become the villain. When in reality, Haven’s passing does not change what she did to you. Again, I apologize for being so direct. So, what we are going to do is we’re going to pivot and reframe the discussion. The focus shouldn’t be on who is to blame, because it’s obvious who should be blamed.”
I steel myself, but Bree says, “It’s society! It’s all aspects of human society—the social hierarchy in school, the way we’ve raised our kids to compete with one another, and of course, social media and how it encourages cruelty. You merely shared your story, and that’s yourright. You didn’t ask anyone to hate on Haven—you didn’t send her hate mail or death threats. Others did. People who didn’t even know her. And why? Society. So, now that we have alternative targets, we need to reframe the conversation. Use this as a chance to focus on the importance of being kind. Of taking care of our mental health. These are all good conversations to have, especially since they are relevant to your book.”
“Thank you, Bree,” Julia says. “We think that’s a really sound strategy, and we have scheduled you for more interviews—this story has blown up, and there’s a lot more visibility with you and your book, which we think will work to our advantage. In fact, I’m so excited to share with you that we’ve booked you a live interview with Stephen Colbert!”
I’m so stunned that I can’t speak. I gape like a fish at Julia. When I’m finally able to talk, I say, “Uh, Stephen Colbert is—”
“One of the most popular talk show hosts in the world? Yes! We don’t want to overwhelm you, Fern, but this is a huge opportunity for your story to reach even more people. And it is such an important story, especially given the tragic outcome. We have so much to learn from it as a society. It’s a chance for us to really have a conversation about all these themes you hit in your book—mental health, female friendships, healing from trauma. You have a chance to make a real difference in the world.”
Everyone nods and makes “mm” noises as Julia speaks, and by the end of her speech, even I’m nearly convinced.
I want to believe everything they’re telling me, but then I think of the comments I’ve seen on Twitter, and my resolve weakens. “But what about the hate? I don’t know if—”
“You let us worry about that,” Martin says. “Here at Salt Books, we’ve been very proactive ever since social media started becoming big in publishing. We have a robust influencer program where we work hand in hand with influencers who help us promote books and all that good stuff. And they will be able to help reframe the conversation around this topic.”
It takes me a beat to understand what Martin is really saying, and when I do, I can hardly believe it. Salt Books has a network of influencers who can steer the conversation into a direction they want? “Is that ethical?” I say.
They all laugh. “Oh my gosh,” Bree says. “Yes, of course it is! It’s all very kosher. We’re not manipulating anything—we’re just helping to reframe the conversation into a more productive direction.”
“If I can add something?” Sophia the publicist says. “Even with the help of our influencers, everything will shift very organically, so it’s definitely ethical. Not everyone is going to agree with the reframing of the narrative, and that’s okay! I think we should embrace it. What’s so special about your story is that everyone can relate to it, so we should lean into that. I’m thinking interviews and op-eds with the headline ‘You Hate Her. YouAreHer.’”
“I love that,” Julia says.
“This is why Sophia’s on the team,” Martin says. “She’s the best publicist.”
“Oh, stop it,” Sophia says, laughing. “But I think that’ll make you an even easier sell. You can love her or hate her, but you can’t stop relating to her.”
Everyone is being so cheerful on the call that it’s infectious. Only minutes ago I’d literally been sprawled on the floor, wondering if I should just end it all, and all of a sudden I find out that I have an entire team of people wanting to save me. The thought is so overwhelming that before I know it, a choked sob burbles out of me.
“Aww, Fern,” Rachel says. “I know. It’s a lot to take in.”
I shake my head, trying to blink away my tears. “It’s not that. I mean, yes, it’s a lot, but I’m just so grateful that you’re not giving up on me.”
“Oh my gosh,” Julia says. “Give up on you? No. That didn’t even cross our minds. Do not even worry about that.”
I can only nod as I fight back the relieved sobs.
“Okay, so we have a plan, and I love it,” Julia says.
“Fern, I will send you a shared doc with your itinerary on it,” Sophia says. “You’ve got a ton of events lined up, and I will add to the document every time I get a new opportunity, and there will be a lot more opportunities to come, I know it.”
“You’re going to be busy, girl!” Julia says.
“And don’t worry if you feel anxious or nervous,” Rachel says. “I will be with you every step of the way, okay? I take care of my clients.”
Is this what it’s like to have an actual support system? To be able to fall with the confidence that a whole group of people will prop you up?
“Thank you,” I say hoarsely.
“Thankyoufor having the courage to share your story,” Julia says. “You and your book are going to be unstoppable.”
And I find that despite everything, despite the crumbled mess of it all and the vitriol aimed at me online, despite the darkness that resides deep in my core and threatens at all times to burst through the surface and ruin everything, I believe her.
Six Months Later
My book debuts at number two on theNew York Timesbestseller list. I’m alone, visiting Dani’s grave, when I get the call from Julia. Rachel had offered to be with me today, but I told her this was something I needed to do on my own.
When Julia tells me the news about theNYTlist, I laugh through my tears. Unbelievable. I’m still crying when I get off the phone. I tap on theNYTapp and see that Haven’s book is number one on the fiction list. It’s not a surprise to me. After Haven died, her parents sold her book to a different publisher. And all the publicity I’ve been doing in the past six months has done wonders for both of us. The nation is divided between Team Haven and Team Fern, and the ongoing controversy has created an endless stream of debates and arguments and evenbirthed its own spin-off drama—people have gotten into screaming fights over Haven and me. I’ve done all sorts of talk shows live, some of them gentler, others more aggressive, and though I was intimidated at first, my publishing team assures me over and over that even the less friendly talk shows end up selling more copies of my book. They’re still driving hard at the “You can hate her, but you can’t stop relating to her” angle, and it’s working.
