I pull out the vial, holding it up to catch the morning light. The liquid inside swirls with patterns that hurt to look at directly—magic older and darker than anything I've encountered.
One swallow. That's all it would take.
But once done, it can't be undone. The bond severed, the memories lost, the person I am now—the person who loves him despite everything—erased.
Is that really what I want? Or am I just afraid?
Julia was afraid too. Afraid enough to take her own life, thinking it would save him. But it didn't. The curse remained. The darkness grew worse.
What if severing the bond doesn't save us either? What if it just leaves us both broken and alone, with nothing to show for it but scars that never heal?
Through the bond, I feel Malakai's presence — still searching, still calling for me. His emotions wash through the connection: fear, desperation, love so fierce it makes my chest ache.
I'm sorry, I think, though he can't hear me. I love you. I love you so much it terrifies me.
But I can't let our baby die the way Julia's baby died. I can't become another ghost haunting your halls, another name you can't speak.
I have to choose.
I uncork the vial. The liquid releases a faint silvery mist that smells of lightning and ash, sharp and foreign.
Dawn has fully broken now. I can see the first true light of morning touching the horizon, painting the silver trees in shades of gold and pink.
I raise the vial to my lips.
And I hesitate.
CHAPTER 34
SEVERED
Malakai
The border dispute drags into its third hour, and I'm losing what little patience I have left.
"Lord Malakai," the messenger from the western territories insists, his Beta scent acrid with nervous sweat, "the Light Court patrols have crossed into neutral territory again. Three times this week. Our scouts report?—"
"I'm aware of what your scouts report." I cut him off, shadows coiling restlessly around my feet. The strange hollowness in my chest has been growing all morning—an absence where Seraphina's Omega presence usually burns warm and constant through our completed mate bond. "Station additional guards. If they cross again, detain them."
"But the diplomatic implications?—"
"Are my concern, not yours." I wave him away dismissively, my attention drifting toward the windows. Where is she? The distance between us feels wrong, stretched too thin.
The shadow council chamber finally empties, aged shadowlords filing out with their usual wary backward glances. I've been keeping my distance from Seraphina since the garden incident—terrified of what my unstable shadows might do if I get too close. But this growing emptiness is worse than fear.
"The crown ceremony preparations are complete," Emmett reports, gathering documents scattered across the table. His Alpha scent is carefully controlled, professional, though I catch the undertone of concern he's trying to hide. "The Light Court delegation arrives at dawn."
I grunt in acknowledgment, moving toward the window. "Have the southern tower prepared for Councillor Marcus. I want him as far from Seraphina as possible."
"My lord," Emmett says carefully. "About Lady Seraphina?—"
"I know." I cut him off, not wanting to discuss my cowardice in avoiding my own mate. "I'll speak to her after the council session. I need to explain about Julia, about the curse, about—" I stop, the words catching in my throat.
"Perhaps you should speak to her now," Emmett suggests quietly. "The distance between you... it's not healthy for a newly completed bond."
He's right. I've been putting it off, afraid of what might happen if I lose control again. But the hollowness is becoming unbearable.
"Find her," I command. "Tell her I require her presence in my study. It's time we talked."
