“They really are.”
We pick up our utensils at the same time. I’m anxious to hear Lexie’s thoughts on all the food. I’m confident in the kitchen since I’ve lived on my own for a long time now, but I’ve never cooked for anyone but myself.
“Oh wow,” she says after taking a bite of the roast beef.
“Good?”
She nods. “Really good. Why did you wait this long to show me you can cook?” She takes another bite.
I shrug. “I don’t know. There’s not much I can do to impress someone, so I guess I was holding out.”
She laughs and takes another bite. The conversation flows easily over the course of dinner. Apparently, Lex had never had asparagus she liked before tonight—one point for me.
After dinner, we leave the mess to tackle later and move to the living room. I suggest we watch a movie but she seems more interested in kissing than anything.
I allow it to go on for a few minutes before I pull away gently. “I hope tonight showed you how much I care about you.” My voice is soft, looking into her smiling eyes. She leans in and kisses me intensely again. As it grows in passion, she pulls me in closer, her intentions clear when she fumbles with my belt buckle.
“Lex.” My voice slightly firm, I stop her with a gentle hold on her wrist even though she’s extremely tempting. “I told you, we’re not doing that.”
Her eyes darken on mine. “I thought you wanted to show me how much you cared about me?”
“I did.” I gesture toward the kitchen. “I made you a nice dinner over candlelight.”
“So don’t you want to show me in more ways?” she suggests. Although I am slightly frustrated at her way of thinking, I stay calm.
“There are a million ways to show I care that don’t jeopardize boundaries.”
“Sex builds so much, including trust and connection!”She argues and stands.
“Trust me, I know it does, but we can find other ways to build a connection without taking our clothes off.”
Her eyes narrow. “You’re just, you’re so—”
I cut her off and stand too. “Lexie, do you honestly think I don’t want you? I am a twenty-nine-year-old man who knowsexactlywhat sex is like, but I won’t—”
“Wait.” She holds her hand up between us. “What?”
“What?”
“You’ve done it before and you’re acting like some saint who’s lived this perfect, by-the-book life with your whole waiting philosophy?!”
“Lex, it isn’tmyphilosophy, it’s what the Bible teaches.” I drop to a softer tone. “Can I show you?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re not going to sit here and school me when you aren’t even as perfect as you’re pretending to be.”
I put a hand over my chest. “I’m not pretending. I never claimed to be perfect.”
“Well, then why are you expecting me to be? It’s like your values are more important than mine.” She huffs and leaves the room. My entire body is starting to get hot as the anger builds. The arguments between us that constantly seem to arise out of nowhere are wearing me out, but I can’t just give up. I have to push through it and make things right.
I follow her out. “Hey, hold on. Stop.” She turns around. “What exactly are your values?”
Her eyes set back on mine, not relenting even a bit. As if she doesn’t want to work through this and is determined to drag this out another few days.
She crosses her arms. “Being with someone who doesn’t expect me to uphold an unrealistic standard.”
