The day I found out I was pregnant was a day I’ll never forget. The emotions, the excitement, the reality, it was such a whirlwind.
We’d been trying to get pregnant since the start of the year. No luck in the first two months, but when March came, I just knew. Jesse didn’t think I was, but I felt different. I can’t explain it—mother’s intuition, maybe?
Still, I managed to surprise him.
After he fell asleep, I snuck into the bathroom and took a test. It turned positive within a minute, and I started shaking. Nervous, excited, so many emotions at once. I couldn’t wait to tell him.
I went back out, turned the lights on, and woke him up. He was irritated at first, groggy from sleep, but as soon as he saw what I was holding, his expression changed.
“Are you serious?” he asked. “Is it right?”
He was thrilled.
When the excitement settled for the night, we climbed back into bed, but I don’t think he let go of me all night. We always sleep cuddled together, but that night was different. For the first time, he wasn’t just holdingme. He was holdingus.
Still working full-time, I’ve never been so tired in my life. Jesse has been insisting I start maternity leave early and go back whenever I feel ready to after she’s born. While I’m glad he’s confident in our finances, I haven’t reached the desire to leave yet.
“I just don’t understand why the toilet downstairs isn’t flushing right. It’s not that old,” Jesse says, pulling his phonefrom his pocket. “Maybe Cody would know. He knows more about plumbing than I do.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say with a hard swallow. I know why it’s not flushing and it’s not for the reason he thinks.
The other day when I was cleaning the bathroom, I flushed a pumice stone after I was done using it. It wasn’t a big piece, I didn’t think. I thought it would just dissolve over time because when you use it, that’s what it does. After a quick Google search, I found out they do not just dissolve. But it was too late.
As I listen to Jesse on the phone with Cody, guilt eats me. I don’t want him to get mad at me but I know being honest with him is the right thing to do and something I have been trying to get better at.
As I finish hanging the rest of Cora’s clothes I just washed, my mind plays around with different ways to tell him, what exactly I should say, how I should word it so that he doesn’t get mad.
I hear him downstairs, proceeding to call someone else, asking questions, explaining the problem. More guilt creeps in, especially when he starts talking about the possibility of having a bigger issue. Something about the pipes? Oh gosh. I know he just has to take the toilet off and pull out the stone.
I head downstairs to start on dinner and, a few minutes later, Jesse emerges from our bedroom.
“Cody and Dad said I need to take it off first and see if there’s a visible blockage but that means I’m going to need a new seal, so I’m gonna run down to Cody’s. He said he had one.”
“Oh, okay.” I watch him throw on a sweatshirt and slip on his boots.
“I’ll be right back.” He huffs and leaves.
The only reason I didn’t stop him was because I know he still needs to take the toilet off to get it out anyway. As soon as he gets back, I’ll tell him.
Ten minutes later, he’s already back, pulling his boots off at the door. I step away from the stove. Time to be a big girl and tell him the truth.
“Babe.” My voice falters a little.
He looks at me. His breathing fast and unsteady from being out in the cold.
“I, um, do you think a pumice stone being flushed would cause this problem?” I ask.
He thinks for a moment. “Yeah, why? Did you flush one?”
“Not a full thing but like … some.”
He steps more into the kitchen. “Define some. How big?”
I hold up my fingers about four inches apart to show him. Not realizing I’m shaking until now. Why is my nervous system so dramatic?
Jesse groans and my body tenses up. “Don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad. But why on earth are you shaking?” He grabs my wrist and gently pulls me against him. “Come here. Don’t be scared of me.”
