“Love you. Lock the door when you leave,” she mutters, swinging it open and shutting it behind her with a little extra force then necessary.
I sit back down for a minute. My gut is telling me not to leave. To stay here tonight, make things right with her in the morning when she gets home.
So that’s what I do.
* * *
Ella gets home at 8 a.m. I’m in the kitchen making breakfast. Maybe food will help us have a civil discussion.
The second I see her standing in the doorway, I knowsomething’s wrong. The way her shoulders are slumped, like the weight of the night is too much for her to carry.
Her eyes meet mine. They’re glassy, like she’d been holding tears in the entire way home.
I set down the spatula and walk her way. My throat goes dry, “What’s wrong?”
“We lost him,” she chokes out, her voice and body trembling.
The words rock me. I pull her against me, lifting her entire body across the floor so I can shut the front door.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry.”
She sobs into my shirt and I don’t know what else to say. I don’t think there’s anything that would make it better anyway. I’m just glad I stayed so that I could be here for her right now. Her body is shaking and heavy as she trusts me with all her weight; she knows I’ve got her.
“We thought he was going to be okay. He was doing well, and then he just tanked again. Right before shift change,” she chokes out.
I swallow hard, pressing a kiss to her hair. “Babe, I’m really sorry.”
She doesn’t say anything, though I’m not expecting her to. We continue to stand there, and I run slow, soft circles along her back while I feel her tears soak my shirt. I’m not going to tell her not to cry. I know this isn’t something she can just move past.
She lets me go. “Why are you even still here?”
I let out a small laugh. “I didn’t like how we left things last nightandyour couch is comfy.”
A faint smile grows. “Yeah.” She wipes away her tears beforelooking back to me. “So you really wanna know why I walked away from Tim? The exact moment I knew that man was not my person?”
She catches me off guard a little, moving the conversation along without much warning.
“I do.”
She walks into the kitchen and leans against the counter. “Because I came home one day, just like this, after losing not one but two patients that shift, and do you wanna know what he said to me?” She crosses her arms.
“What’d he say?” My throat goes dry again as I fear her answer.
“He said, ‘Well, you know, you’re the one who wanted to be an ER nurse.’” Her voice deepens into mocking a man’s tone, but she’s still barely able to steady it. “That Jesse. That is why I left him. That in itself shows the kind of person he was. He didn’t hug me, he didn’t even say he was sorry for what I went through. Then there’s you. You did all those things within the first minute I walked in the door.”
I stay silent, getting the feeling there’s more she wants to express. “We hadn’t even been engaged that long and that was the day I knew for sure I didn’t want to go through life with him.” She shakes her head.
“I promise you, Ella, that I will never say something so cold to you for as long as I live.”
She looks at me, her eyes red, strained, and wet. “I know that. I wouldn’t be here with you if I didn’t.”
Chapter 29
Ella
Jesse and I just finished up a Bible study. We haven’t done one in weeks. I’ve been working a lot and wedding planning in between it all. I know it’s no excuse, but I told him from here on out I want him to make sure we do one at least once a week.
“We’re about due for a night out, I think. Maybe dinner or something? Saturday?” He suggests.
