“That’s not an answer.”
He shakes his head and meets my eyes again. “Because last time you got on a plane to Texas, you never came back.”
The space between us turns painfully silent.
“We broke up. Why would I come back?”
“I didn’t actually think you’d go. I thought you’d come back and at least visit. I don’t know,” he admits, visibly holding back emotion in his chest like it hurts. The look in his eyes, I hate. He’s trying so hard not to show he’s upset.
“I’ll be gone five days, Jess. Less than a week.”
“So you say.” He stands.
My heart beats faster at his accusation, I stand too. “Do you think I’m lying?”
“I don’t know. I hope not.”
“Why on earth would you think something like that?”
“I don’t know, Ella. You didn’t mention doing this until a week ago and that doesn’t sit well with me.” He shrugs, his arms crossed tensely.
“I’m sorry. You know I hate making you upset. Plus, I wasn’t even sure it would be able to happen with work.”
“You have got to get better at communicating with me. No matter how hard it is for you. I need to feel like I actually mean something to you, that I’m not just here as some boyfriend who doesn’t give a damn.” His words are laced thick with emotion. His eyes glisten with unshed tears.
The walls of my chest feel heavy. Jesse doesn’t get upset like this, so seeing him do so is a big deal.
I push my suitcase aside and offer him a hug. His arms wrap around me like he doesn’t want to let go.
“I’m coming back. I promise,” I whisper.
When I pull away from our embrace, there’s a single tear trailing down his cheek.
I grab his face with my palms and press my lips against his. Our foreheads rest against each other’s. He sniffles and I take in a breath to tell him something I’ve been holding back for too long.
“I love you, Jesse. I’m yours. I’ll always be yours, baby, okay?” The words are relieving to let go of.
He nods and kisses me again. When he pulls back, I see a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. His eyes get a little brighter.
“You really do?”
“Yes. I want it all with you. I want the wedding, the kids, the dogs, the house, all of it.” It rolls off my tongue like it was nothing. But it isn’t nothing, it’s the truth; it’s the first time I’ve been honest with myself in years. It’s freeing.
He clears his throat and whispers, “You know I do too.”
His gaze doesn’t falter. I can see his body relax just by sharing my words with him. He needed to hear it—he deserved to—and I don’t know why I waited this long to say it. I feel so much better and I know he does too.
Chapter 20
Jesse
Mason and I are hanging the last of the drywall in his place. After that we can start spackling, which is going to take days. This entire place needs it. It’s fine though, not like I have anything better to do.
Ella left for Texas two days ago. I’m doing alright with it. I hope everything with her ex and parents goes okay. Part of me thinks she didn’t want me to come because she didn’t want me in the drama. I don’t need to be in the middle of anything, but Ella doesn’t always like to stand up for herself, and I would’ve liked to help her with that if needed.
“So when’s Ella driving back?” Mason asks. He stands a few feet away from me, opening another box of screws.
“She’ll be back Saturday.”
