She smiles. “Sure.” Clearing her throat before she begins, her voice is soft but confident.
I don’t really hear the verses at first as I’m too caught up in the sound of her voice, how pretty she is. She catches me staring at her for a second longer than I should.
“What?” She nudges me with her elbow.
“Nothing,” I lie, shaking my head and looking back at my Bible. But I know it’s not nothing.
She continues to read, then we stop and talk as thoughts spark in our heads.
I get caught up in staring at her again, watching the way her lips move as she reads. My heart starts to pound harder, and I know I can’t keep my feelings bottled up anymore.
“Ella.” I stop her mid-sentence, and her eyes fix on mine.
“Yeah?”
I swallow hard. “I love you.”
Her eyes widen at me, her lips slightly part.
“Don’t feel like you have to say it back. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”
The silence between us is longer than I anticipated, pressing this unbearable weight against my chest as I wait for her to say something. I’m sweating, panicking. Does she really not feel the same? How can she not feel this?!
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s a little soon for that, don’t you think?” she says quietly, looking down.
I shake my head. “It never went away, sweetheart. For me, anyway.”
Her eyes gaze back up to mine. The uncertainty in them is almost paralyzing me. I’m so lost; I thought we were both on the same page.
“Huh.” She sighs. “Jesse.” She breathes and stands up, circling around the coffee table.
“What? I’m just being honest. I thought you were still there too.” My voice is soft but full of confusion.
“I know, I know.” She sighs, rubbing her temples. “It’s just … there are things we still need to talk about before we get there, and the longer I wait, the more I feel like I’m digging myself into a hole.” She shakes her head, clearly frustrated with herself.
“Talk about what, baby?” I stand and step closer. “Stop pacing. Sit down and talk to me.” I gesture back to the couch. My worry is rising. She’s scaring me, and my heart is pounding harder with every second that passes.
She exhales deeply, sits back down, and meets my eyes. “I just got out of an engagement.” Her voice is barely above a whisper.
Her words hit me in the gut, and my entire body goes numb. I want to throw up.
Chapter 15
Ella
My hands are shaking, my heart rate is through the roof and pounding in my ears, heat is rushing to my face as my nerves build. This isn’t how I planned to tell him, but his sudden love confession threw me off and I panicked.
Jesse’s baby-blue eyes turn grayish as he stares at me. “Engagement? Like diamond ring, one knee, spend forever with me, engaged?”
The eye contact is hard to keep, but I push through it, nodding. “The whole nine yards, yeah.”
His voice is low, laced with defeat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I close my eyes and sigh. “Things between us were so good, I didn’t want to mess it up.”
“Why would it mess something up?”
“Because I didn’t want it to change your opinion of me.”
