If anything, I’m still a bit annoyed. Not upset anymore, just frustrated with how everything ended and why it had to. If the situation were reversed, I would never have broken up with a girl over her desire to have boundaries. Hopefully, I’ll be over it soon and back to feeling like myself.
When I get to my parents’ house, I head straight to the kitchen. I’m the first of my siblings to get here, which is strange. Mom is rushing around, making lunch. I offer to help, and she doesn’t hesitate. She tells me to wash my hands and grate the cheese.
Out the window, I see Dad at the grill. He’s still in his church clothes, wearing his Carhartt jacket over top. It’s getting colder here each day, but it doesn’t matter to him.
He’ll do anything for Mom. Not because he’s scared of her or doesn’t want to cause a fight but simply because he loves her. Their love has always inspired me. It’s not showy or over-the-top, it’s simple. Driven by the little things they do for eachother every day. That’s the kind of man he has always been, and I’d like to think some of that rubbed off on me.
I know if Dad were in my shoes, he wouldn’t have compromised his morals for Lexie either, but he also wouldn’t have let things drag on like I did. He’s a man of action. He’s firm yet gentle. He and Mom have always seen eye to eye on things. At least, I think. The older I get, the more I’ve come to realize that being raised by them and seeing their love firsthand are huge blessings—I can only pray to emulate them someday.
“How’re you doing, Jess?” Mom asks after a moment of silence in the room. Knowing that nobody else is here yet, I figure now is the time to talk about it.
I let out a quiet sigh. “Better.”
“Well, good. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“You don’t have to say that. I know you didn’t like her.”
She shakes her head but her voice is calm. “It’s not that I didn’t like her. She just wasn’t your girl.”
“She was too rough around the edges for everyone. None of you liked that.” I watch her grab a stack of plates from the cabinet before responding.
“She was and we could all tell you were constantly trying to smooth them out, which is not your job.”
I look at her. “Well, she was trying for everyone. She knew she wasn’t the queen of prim and proper.”
“No, she wasn’t.” Her tone softens even more. “But as much as you probably don’t want to hear it, she didn’t seem to respect some of the things that matter most.”
“Yeah, Mom, I know that, but I saw potential in her, despite how different she was. I liked that she was different than everyone else.”
She shrugs. “That’s understandable. But there’s adifference between liking someone because they’re different and forcing yourself to overlook the bigger picture.” She takes the plates to the dining room, leaving me to stare at the boiling pot of noodles.
I know she’s right. Lexie’s bold personality, her rough humor, and the way she was more up for hanging with strangers at the bar than trying to grow a relationship with my family—there was a lot there to try and fix.
“I just …” I clear my throat and follow her. “I was willing to work at it.”
“I know you were. But the right person will meet you halfway. You won’t have to put in so much effort to try and make them fit,” she explains, and I just nod, understanding exactly what she means. “You’ll find the one. When it’s right, you won’t have to question it, you’ll just know,” she adds, ending the conversation at the perfect time as the sound of the front door opening signals company.
I turn my attention to the doorway, waiting to see which one of my siblings has finally arrived.
The dark brown hair is unmistakably Addison’s. But when I see who’s walking in behind her, my chest tightens, and the pounding of my heartbeat thumps in my ears.
It’s Ella. Dressed the same as she was in church just an hour ago. A dark green dress with small white flowers spread all across it. Her straight blonde hair falls down over her shoulders. There’s something very familiar about seeing her back here, though. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable.
I watch her eyes scan the room briefly before they land on mine. My throat goes dry, my heart rate kicks up, and I can’t even form a sentence.
I glance to Addison, her face full of mischief. I observe herfighting the urge to laugh. She just threw me a curveball I certainly wasn’t ready for, nor even saw coming.
* * *
I’m sitting at the foot of the table. Dad at the head, my mom beside him, Addison next, and then Mason. Across from him, to my left, is Cody and beside him, Ella. It’s been ten years since she last sat at this table and it feels … good.
“Mac and cheese is great, Mom,” Mason says as he fills his plate with more.
Ella interjects, “It is. Tastes the same as I remember.”
I focus on the spoon in my hand, swirling it through the leftover steak juices on my plate. I can’t keep staring at her every time she speaks. Eventually, she’s going to catch me, and that could be awkward. More for her than me—if I remember correctly, she blushes like a stop sign.
“Thank you. Have you been enjoying the new job?” Mom asks. Curious to hear her response, I look at her while she answers.
