Seeing that handwriting is like a fucking kick to the chest.
It takes all the breath out of my lungs and makes my sternum ache.
I sink into one of the chairs at the table and simply stare at it for a long time, holding it between my fingers, willing myself to work up the guts to open it. To read the last thing that my dad will ever leave me with.
I don’t know how long I sit and stare at that envelope, but I shake my head and heave a frustrated sigh before pushing to my feet. I toss the envelope onto the kitchen counter and turn away, gripping the edge of the counter in tense fingers.
I glance out the front window, but neither Teddy’s or her in-laws’ vehicles are in her side of the driveway. Shoving my feet into sneakers, I pull my ball cap on my head and grab my keys. It’s a quick trip down the road to the nearest market, and then I’m back fifteen minutes later with the fixings for a tossed salad, a mix of fresh vegetables, and a steak.
I crack open a beer while I work, washing the veggies and setting them to marinate before spearing them onto a shish-kabob skewer. Seasoning the steak, I set that aside and work on the salad next, then take the veggie skewers, the steak, and my beer out to the back patio, where I fire up the grill. It’s not often that I get to cook at home during the season, and normally Iwould be out with the guys tonight. Celebrating our win against that damn SoCal fire. But tonight, I’m just not feeling the crowd. Or the harassment from my crew about Teddy. None of them have let it go.
Busy bodies, the lot of ‘em.
My steak is about halfway done when I hear two vehicles pull into the driveway, and then the commotion of Teddy and her family arriving home. The sounds comfort me. Dalton’s excitable chatter, Penny’s infectious laugh, shit, even the sound of Bea’s occasional fussing doesn’t bother me. Teddy’s soothing voice as she speaks to her kids, her genuine laughter when they do something to make her smile. I admit, I enjoy the sounds of them living next door.
“Dalton, shower time please!” I hear Teddy’s voice through an open window somewhere. “But don’t take too long because Penny needs a bath, too.”
“Only because she practically swam in her ice cream.” Kent’s deep rumble reaches me and I can’t help but smile. Sounds like something the tiny terror would do.
“Oooh, what smells so good?” Colleen’s voice drifts out next. I hear the heavy glass slider door swish open. “Xander must be grilling out back. That smells divine. Doesn’t it Teddy? Why don’t you go say hello?”
“Colleen!”
Teddy’s horrified whisper-hiss makes me chuckle around a swallow of my beer.
“What?” Colleen asks, her tone anything but innocent. “It’s just saying hello, Teddy.”
I grin again, flipping the veggie skewers a quarter turn. The marinated mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, and summer squash do smell mouth-wateringly delicious. As does the steak. Fuck, I’m starving, and ready to eat real food instead of a gritty, tasteless MRE ration pack. My stomach growls impatiently. I’d been so exhausted after getting home this morning, mowing the lawn,and then my shower that I hadn’t even bothered to eat before falling asleep.
“Why are you like this?” Teddy grumbles miserably, and Colleen’s lilting laugh drifts out to me.
“Because that’s what momma’s do. We meddle.”
I take another long pull of my beer and grin. That’s exactly what Teddy had said earlier. I’m not sure if they know I’m out here, or that I can hear everything they’re saying. It’s not considered eavesdropping, right?
“This isn’t normal.He’s my brother’s boss, Colleen,” Teddy whisper-hisses again, and then I can hear the screen slider being pushed open. “Ugh.You’re a menace.”
“Yes, yes, alright,” Colleen mutters, her voice slightly louder now. “I’ll get the kids showered and bathed. Go say hi. And take him this?—”
The clinking of glass bottles rattle, and then the swish of the sliding doors being shut once more. I hold my breath, remaining where I am at the grill. My back is facing the backyard, but I know the second she comes around the partition that separates my patio from hers. Like my entire body is queued to her presence.
“Umm, hey,” she says, her voice so timid and uncertain.
I turn my head toward her and wince at the pain that shoots up my neck and down my spine. She stops, alarm flashing across her face before she’s stepping over toward me. She sets a six pack of beer down on the ancient milk crate-turned-end table.
“Are you okay?Are you hurt?” she asks, her gray eyes flying over me, as if checking for injury. My chest tightens at that. It’s been a long time since anyone—other than my crew—has cared about my wellbeing. “Xander?—”
“I’m fine.” I turn fully toward her, smiling gently, then reach up and tap the lidocaine patch that’s sticking out of the back collar of my t-shirt. “Just a stiff neck, and I moved wrong.”
“Oh,” she whispers, taking a half step back. “I’m sorry.”
I wave my hand. “Don’t apologize. I kinked it a few days ago sleeping on a bedroll at spike camp. It just needs a few days to loosen up.”
“Spike camp?” she asks, crossing her arms over herself. I look down at those crossed arms pointedly and she rolls her eyes with a smirk, but drops them to her sides. I turn back to the grill, flipping my steak one more time. It’s done, but now I don’t want to go inside and leave her.
I nod as I turn off the burners, then hunker down to make sure the propane tank is off, too. “When we’re out on fire calls, we set up basically like a campsite. We call them spike camps. It’s our home away from home.”
“You have to set up tents wherever you go?” she asks, stepping forward to peek at the steak and vegetables on the grill. She sniffs the air appreciatively.
