No, I remind myself, pacing through the kitchen, the glow of the light over the stove the only light. I’m just horny and lonely. This will pass. Hopefully.
Even if I wanted to date—which I don’t, despite the many nudges that I’ve gotten from Vi lately—Xander is strictly off limits.
He’s my brother’s boss. And his best friend.
Andhe’s a hotshot.
Despite the walls I’ve built around my heart where my sexy as sin neighbor is concerned, I can’t help but worry about him whenever he and Cal leave for a fire. I tell myself it’s because he’s my brother’s best friend and because I care about himas a friend and neighbor.Nothing more than that.
I groan, letting my head drop back so that I’m staring at the ceiling. I’m lying to myself. At least a little.
Because I do care about Xander. A lot. As a friend and neighbor… butmore, too. This stupid crush that I’ve been fighting for the last several months is silly, especially knowing that I’m never going to allow myself to act on it anyway.
I can look. I just can’t touch.
Well. I can’t touchhim, at least.
I do, however, touch myself at night…when I let myself pretend for just a little while that I’m not alone in my bed with a silicone toy in hand.
Again. I’m just horny and lonely.
It’s pathetic, to be honest. I’m a hot mess on good days.
Leaning my hips against the counter in the kitchen, I fan myself. I can’t even blame the August heat; this is all because of Xander and the way his deep, growly words and impossibly intense gaze affect me.
Stealing a glance out the patio door into the darkness that’s shrouded the outside world, I bite my lip. Fuck it.
Slipping quietly down the hall, I close my bedroom door and slide into bed before reaching for the drawer of my nightstand and pull out ‘ol faithful.
Turning the toy on, I slide it and my hand beneath the folds of my robe, letting my thighs drop open.
“Oh shit,” I whisper into the dark as the vibrator buzzes along my skin. Circling it over my clit, I let my mind wander to Xander…
Dropping my head back against the metal frame of the folding chair, I close my eyes as Teddy disappears around the partition, back to the safety of her duplex. The way that robe clings to her skin is damn near my undoing, and I’m apparently too much of a masochist to look away from her ass as she walks away. Pressing my palm against my dick, I will my erection to go down.
Draining the last of my beer, I push to my feet, groaning at the way my joints and muscles ache. Once inside, I toss the empty beer bottle into the recycle bin and head down the hallway. These duplexes are mirror images of each other, with my bedroom and connected bathroom sharing a wall with Teddy’s. Some nights I can hear Bea fussing through the wall, but it never lasts long.
Climbing into bed, I lay on my back, one arm bent beneath the back of my head as I stare up at the ceiling. I’m still half hard, thinking about Teddy in that sanity stealing robe.
And then I hear it.
It’s quiet, muffled through the wall.
Muted buzzing, and fucking christ—a quiet moan that turns into a louder one, one that sounds suspiciously like my fuckingname. And I know exactly what Teddy is doing on her side of the wall.
I’ve never been more grateful for thin walls than I am in this moment.
I’m rock hard in an instant, her quiet, muffled moans while she plays with herself heating my blood to a fucking boil. Shoving my shorts down my hips, I wrap my fingers around my cock and glide my palm up and down, from root to tip. Squeezing the base of it, I strangle my dick and strain my ears for more of her sounds. I’m ravenous for more.
I should be ashamed of myself, but I’m not. Not when she’s doing the same thing, thinking about me.
“Xander,” I hear through the wall, and there’s no question that it’s my name this time. I pump my fist over myself, my hips bucking into my hand in time with her sounds. My spine tingles and my balls draw up tight, my impending orgasm barreling through me swiftly as I come in long spurts, my release painting my abdomen. I hear her come and I groan through my own orgasm, my mouth dropping open, my chest heaving.
Fuck. What I wouldn’t do to witness that with my own eyes. Feel it with my fingers, my tongue, my dick.
Shame does wash through me then, because Iaman asshole. Despite the feelings I’ve secretly harbored for Teddy, I know there’s nothing that will ever happen between us. I can’t give her what she undoubtedly deserves.
So, as I clean myself up, I remind myself of all the reasons my feelings for her need to remain in the dark. Just like this.
