Hope shifted so that she could sit up, swiveling to look at Van and then scooting closer to Grant. “But you’re okay now, right?”
He threaded his fingers through her hair and nodded. “Yes, butterfly, I’m okay now. I still get anxious at my yearly checkups.”
“That’s understandable,” she said, reaching up and smoothing her hand over his heavily silver threaded hair.
Grant turned her face up to his and said solemnly, “Hope. I need you to know something, and I understand if it changes your mind about me… about us.”
She swallowed hard, but nodded slowly. “Okay.”
“I was married, once, back when I was sick. When I went through chemo and radiation… because of the kind of cancer and the treatment, we were told… Hope, baby girl.” He sighedheavily, his mouth turning down at the corners. Jealousy crashed through her at the thought of someone else having his heart. “If you stay…are kids something you see in your future?”
Understanding dawned, the green tinge of jealousy fading slightly, and she smoothed her hand over his cheek. “I have always hoped so.”
“I may never be able to give that to you,” he admitted quietly, his dark eyes sad as he stared at her. She smiled, tears pricking her nose.
“It’s not a deal breaker, Grant,” she whispered earnestly, shaking her head.
“It was once… so I just need to know,” he said softly, sadly.
“Your wife?” she asked, her brows drawing closer as the tears pricked her eyes. He nodded, brushing her hair away from her face. She shook her head. “I just want you. And we can practice, right? If we ever decide to try?”
He laughed then, his white teeth showing up against the darkness of his beard. “I’ll practice putting a baby in you as often as you want, Hope.”
She smiled, a blush tingeing her cheeks at the thought. She turned to Van, who was still reclining in his corner of the couch. “What about you? Are babies something you want in the future?”
“I hadn’t ever given it much thought, to be honest,” he said, reaching out a hand. She tucked hers in his and he squeezed lightly. “It’s not like I’ve had any real prospects in the wings. Until you. If babies are what you want, I’ll do my part to give them to you when we’re ready, little one.”
Tears stung her nose again and she smiled radiantly at Van, who smiled back, his green eyes crinkling at the corners. She looked back to Grant. “Is that something you’d be okay with?”
“If I can’t give you babies, Hope, I would be ecstatic to watch you carry Van’s,” he said. “That wouldn’t bother me. As long as it makes you happy.”
Hope blew out a breath and blinked rapidly. “I feel like we’re getting way ahead of ourselves,” she laughed, glancing between them both. They laughed, too, and the heaviness that had settled over them dissipated.
“We have plenty of time to figure that out, if that’s something you want. I would love to know if being here, with both of us, is what you want, Hope,” Van said.
“As in, just for a while until you get tired of me?” she teased lightly, wrinkling her nose at him when he rolled his eyes.
“As if that is even a possibility,” he muttered wryly, shaking his blonde head at her. “I can only speak for myself, but you already know how I feel about you, about us. All of us. This isn’t some passing fling for me, Hope. This is my forever.”
“Really?” she asked reverently, staring at him in wonder. He squeezed her hand again.
“Really. I could wax poetic about how I know in my soul that this is it for me.Youare it for me. And if that means that you come with that big jealous brute over there—”
Grant launched a throw pillow at Van’s head, and they all laughed as Van caught it. Hope turned to Grant, who was still stroking his fingers through her hair slowly. “Grant?” she asked.
He notched his head to the side and stared at Van for a long moment before turning those chocolate brown eyes on her. “He’s right. I’m a jealous lover, Hope, I need you both to understand that. There will be times I will want you just for myself, and times that I want to share.” He looked to Van. “If that’s not something you’re okay with, I need to know.”
“I think we’re both in agreement that there is a time and a place for both…and just one,” he said, nodding. “There’s a lot to figure out, but like I told you; I would rather try than go back to before.”
“It could get messy,” Grant rumbled, his voice deep and low, and Hope brought her eyes to his again. “This isn’t going tobe easy, and some days feelings are going to get hurt. Open communication andhonest communicationis going to be the key to making this work. For all three of us. No secrets. No lies. If something is upsetting you, either of you, we talk it out. Together.”
“A strand of three cords is not easily unwoven…” Hope murmured, squeezing both of their hands. She smiled radiantly at first Van, then Grant. “I get to keep both of you.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
“I’m not going to lie, all this talk about putting babies in you has made me horny as hell,” Van said and grinned, leaning forward on the couch to grab her by the waist and haul her into his arms. “Anyone up for some practice?”
Hope laughed out loud, sinking into a long, languid kiss. Van’s hands smoothed over her back, then slid beneath the t-shirt she was wearing, raising it up her back and then over her head.
