“You’re right, you don’tneedto stay with me anymore. But Iwantyou there. I want to come home every night to you.”
I popped up on my elbow, staring at him in surprise. Was he saying what I thought he was?
He chuckled like he could read my mind. “We’ve pretty much been living together for over a month now.”
“Well… yeah. But…” It wasn’t that I didn’t want that, but there were other things to consider. “I’m committed to splitting the apartment with Mia until March.”
He smiled. “That’s fine. I just want you in my bed every night and everymorning.”
I rolled my eyes. He was ridiculous. I laid my head back down on his chest with a smile on my face. I couldn’t even argue with him, because at the end of the day, that was what I wanted too.
Chapter Thirty-Six
LYLA
After a handfulof sessions with the therapist over the week following my breakdown, I was cleared to come back to work. I still had to continue seeing her for at least the next six weeks, but I planned to keep maintenance appointments with her even after the six weeks were up. Understanding what caused my anxiety, talking through it and what I needed to do to keep myself calm, I felt confident in my ability again.
The sessions ended up being eye-opening on many levels. We didn’t just start with the accident, instead we revisited things from my childhood and early adult years. Things I had unconsciously pushed down and never really dealt with. Like the girl from my biology class sophomore year of high school who died in a car accident. I’d declined the counseling the school offered because Ididn’t know her that well and thought it was silly to grieve someone I hardly knew. But the minute we touched on it, I could feel the way my body tensed and my heart rate accelerated. Overall, the sessions made me realize I had to start actually processing things, not just tamping them down or brushing them aside.
Now, armed with medication, mindfulness and breathing techniques, and finally some exposure therapy to work through the visceral reactions, I had all the tools needed to conquer my demons.
The Mayday alert came through my radio, and I froze, staring up at the house fully engulfed in fire.
I glanced over at Adam, who was riding with me again. After the incident, we moved back to Adam’s apartment and disclosed our relationship to the chief. Of course he wasn’t surprised, nor were any of the guys. However, we were pleasantly surprised when we were paired together for a few shifts in the next week. The chief explained that with one EMT on bereavement leave and another one on vacation, he was short-staffed and didn’t really have a choice. But he also trusted us to be able to do our jobs, be professional. That meant a lot to both of us, and there was no way we would betray that trust either.
Adam stood with crossed arms and a look of pure rage on his face as he stared at the house. He was so pissed that we were here because of the arsonist once again. Jay’s voice came through the radio, explaining that Seth had fallen through the floor while they were doing their primary search. The color drained from Adam’s face as Jay relayed back that he was not sure of Seth’s status.
Owen screamed out commands to the crew and the set of volunteers who had just shown up, sending in two teams of two to assist. He also radioed dispatch requesting a paramedic unit, just in case Seth needed to be intubated or needed other advanced life support Adam and I couldn’t provide as EMTs.
We worked quickly to pull the stretcher out and get it as close to the front entrance as we could, ready to take over when theybrought him out. My stomach turned. There was always that possibility that one day someone wouldn’t make it out.
No. Not today. We were not losing one of our own. I felt sick just thinking about his girlfriend, Violet, receiving that kind of news.
The minute Logan and Jay appeared, carrying Seth, Adam rushed forward. A couple of volunteers followed, and I breathed a sigh of relief that everyone was out.
As soon as we had Seth settled on the stretcher, Adam and I began our assessment.
“Is he breathing?” Jay choked out, his voice strained, followed by a cough with a slight wheezing sound accompanying it.
“Yeah,” I answered, meeting Adam’s gaze, a silent conversation happening between us. Jay needed to be checked out too.
“You good?” Adam asked me.
I nodded, getting the oxygen mask secured in place on Seth’s face.
Adam turned toward Jay. “Need to take a listen, man.”
Jay pulled his shoulders back and scowled at Adam. “I’m fine. Focus on Seth.”
“Mitchell,” Owen yelled.
Jay’s head snapped in that direction. Owen’s stern no-nonsense stare said all he needed to.
“Fucking hell.” Jay pulled off his gloves with a huff and brushed past Adam. “Let’s get this over with.”
I sighed. These men were the most stubborn group of guys I’d ever met.
Less than five minutes later, Jay stomped away—seemingly getting a clean bill of health—and Adam appeared next to me, bumping my shoulder and sending me a comforting smile.
