“Nah, this is nothing!” I wink. “Serranos are better, but most places don’t have them.”
“Moretti’s does,” our waitress responds, handing me the pepper.
“I’ll remember that next time,” I answer, picking up a slice of pie, placing it on my plate, then covering it with pepper flakes. I can feel Becca’s gaze on me, but I don’t look up.
“Do you need anything else?”
I shake my head as I bite half the slice.
Becca snorts. “We’re good. Thank you.”
“What?” I ask, mouth half full.
“Nothing,” she huffs out a laugh, shaking her head. “Boys.”
We enjoy the pizza in silence, both lost in our thoughts. After a few minutes, I notice Becca picking at her crust, and she pulls her bottom lip in with her teeth. She used to do that whenever she wanted to say or ask something, but wasn’t sure if she should. I take another bite of my pizza and wait.
“John mentioned you were engaged at one point in time.” The pizza in my mouth turns to cardboard. “Did you ever end up getting married?”
Swallowing the food, I respond. “No. It didn’t work out. Though she did end up marrying one of my ex-teammates.”
My ex-fiance left me when she realized I wasn’t in love with her. I don’t blame her for leaving, in fact, it was smart. She’s now married to someone who loves her in a way I never could.
“I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry,” Becca mumbles, looking down at her slice, her cheeks pink.
“Don’t be sorry. I’m surprised he told you to be honest.”
A piece of hair falls in her face, and my hand lifts to push it back, but before I can reach across the table, she sweeps it aside. My hand hangs in the air as I watch her. When she glances up and meets my gaze, my heart hammers against my ribcage.
Thoughts I’ve had for over a decade hover on the tip of my tongue. A question that’s tortured me since I left Maple Ridge and Becca behind. The words John said to me when I was at the airport. Telling me his sister wasn’t ready for the life I was about to live. It was better not to call right away. To wait and give her time. I knew it was a bad idea, but I listened.
When she met Caleb, and I saw how happy they were, that one time I was back in town. I knew it was the right call, but I’ve regretted it ever since.
“Rebecca?” One of her brows quirks at me using her first name. My throat constricts, and my hands ball into fists beforestretching my fingers out. Here goes nothing. “Do you think things would’ve been different had I called?”
She looks down at the table, and my pulse races. “I can count on one hand how many times you’ve called me by my first name, and most of them when you were trying to get a rise out of me.”
My mouth twitches as I recall the first time I learned that ‘Becca’ was short for ‘Rebecca’. We were at the rink, waiting for practice to start, and John and Becca were doing their usual bickering when their mom got involved.
Everyone called her Becca, so I never even thought that wasn’t her ‘real’ name. Once I saw the horrified look on her face, I knew I wanted to see that expression more often. First, it was teasing, then it became flirting.
When her gaze shifts to mine, there’s a hint of humor, and I know she’s thinking about all those times, too. But then she tilts her head and her brows pull together. “Why didn’t you call?”
Losing myself in her hazel eyes, I’m swimming in a wave of regret; emotions I’ve ignored swarm over me, and my gut tightens.
I want to tell her it was because I was foolish, that I thought I was doing what was best. Once I got to the NHL, I was barely keeping afloat with everything. And because of that, I believed what her brother said was true. By the time I realized I had made a mistake, I thought it was too late. That she wouldn’t forgive me.
Before I knew it, years had gone by, and she was engaged to Caleb, and I met Joanna.
Picking up my nearly empty cup, I swirl the amber liquid around and watch the motion, trying to piece my words together. But then I hear John’s voice.
“I was a dumb kid who got caught up in the big life I was living. But more than that, I felt like I was drowning.” My eyes find hers, and I do my best to convey how very sorry I am forthe choice I made, but she just shrugs a shoulder. “You deserved a call, something. I’m sorry. I’ve regretted that decision forever.”
Becca’s lips part, and she blinks a few times.
“Hey, you two! I figured you might stop here after practice.” John slides in next to his sister, places an arm on top of the back of the booth, and turns to glare at me. I knew he wasn’t crazy about the two of us dating when we were kids, but I’m surprised he’d still be the protective big brother after all this time.
Noted.
