Relieved I left my cell on the kitchen island last night and not on the nightstand, I pull up a new browser and start researching the best burping techniques when a text from Archer grabs my attention.
Archer
For reasons I’m not willing to discuss, I will be driving past your place on the way to morning skate. Do you want a ride?
Me
It’s not even light outside. Why are you up?
Archer
I said that I didn’t want to discuss it.
Me
How about you share with me the best way to burp a baby, and I’ll stop asking you why you’re going to be passing by my place later?
Archer
You’re banging Billie, aren’t you?
Me
For reasons I’m not willing to discuss … yes. Yes, I am. Keep your lips firmly sealed.
Archer
I am nothing if not a vault.
Me
Remember the time I temporarily split with Maria a couple of seasons back and you tried to set me up with Jenna?
Archer
Fair point. I got carried away and ran my mouth.
Me
Precisely. Don’t do it again.
Archer
I’ll send you a screenshot of the page in the baby book I used when Emily was born. It really helped me perfect feeding and burping techniques.
*screenshot attached*
Me
Thank you.
Archer
I’ll assume you don’t need a ride since you’ll be banging Billie one final time before racing back to your place to get changed.
Me
Got it in one.
